March 14, 2006 was Tuesday

And the day of my open heart surgery to replace my mitral valve.

On March 2006, morning the paramedics were late, at 7 AM, to transport me to the hospital where I would have the surgery. All of about a 10 minute drive if that. However it was the first time, in about two weeks, I inhaled the outside air. I did not care if it was laced with exhaust. I was outside. And free--if just for a few moments. I remember being prepped for my surgery. The preppers were all younger than me, yet I had to trust them. All nice tho. Then when whatever they completed what they completed a young man said, "Put her out."

***The next thing I knew, I woke up, with my arms tied down and a tube down my throat. Yea. I remember that REAL well. I wanted to yank that sucker out of my throat ASAP. I woke up sooner than they expected. Caught em off guard.

Good. It was almost 4 pm.

Anyway, I was taken to ICU. I dozed in an out. My feet felt containers between my legs. Of course, I tried to pull them out by my feet. Catheters. For my bladder and one for the incisions in my tummy for the fluid.

During one of my 'in' moments, I whispered to a nurse and asked what time it was. Twas a little after 7 pm. I asked her to turn the TV to "American Idol." Yep. You read right. "American Idol." I don't remember much of that episode. Yet I still was able to have some of my routine and watch one of my favorite TV shows--as I dozed in and out. My life changed six years ago that day -yet some stayed the same.

Just like tonight. Time for some "American Idol".

And I am blessed.

March 13, 2006 was Monday

Six years ago tonight I walked my chum Movie Man to the elevator. There I hugged Movie Man and told him I would see him later. As the elevator doors closed, the fear covered his face. I tried to smile. I told Movie Man I would be fine. The doors closed and he was gone. . Movie Man was the last chum I would see that night. Visiting hours were over. I turned and took slow steps back to my room. Maybe if I walked slow enough a tortoise would beat me, I would wake up and this would be a dream. Back in my room, I sat on my bed. I could not believe the time was almost here. In less than 12 hours I would be in surgery. Open heart surgery to be precise-to replace my mitral valve. I still had my tonsils. Yet, I was now on the verge my chest being cracked open.

On this night in 2012, the windows are open to catch an almost Spring breeze. I survey my oh so cluttered, feline filled house and center on this terra cotta pot. I remain amazed I decorated the pot. In 2006, terra cotta pots and a house were not on the docket. Cats were--but not even these cats did I have then. How life changes, even tho some things remain the same.

I look down at my scar. Oh course, my scar did not virtually disappear as I recuperated. Naw--that would be too easy. My scar is keloid--thick, and raised. Itchy at times, hurts at others or sensitive or just forgotten---until it itches, hurts or becomes sensitive against my clothing. No matter. It is my medal.

Six years. Seems so long ago--yet, I remember so clear. I hope I always do.

With these scars I am healed.

ECHO Me Life

Today I had my annual ultrasound of my heart, aka ECHO. I'm sure when my cardiologist reads the results, it will show I am not exercising as I once was. My heart doc once told me how the ECHO gives away your not being obedient ways.

I lie there today as a tech, born in 1986, and a male, gel'd me up. He asked me if I was OK with him doing the procedure. Yea. I got over any any pride years ago when I was in the hospital. After surgery, I was so weak. I needed a new bra for support due to my incision. I also wore a heart monitor and I didn't have the strength and know-how to mess with the heart monitor wires. The male nurse said, "I can get a female nurse, if you want." I told him, I needed help and I was no longer proud. I told that story to the kid who was born in 1986 and was my tech today. Anyway, I had on my paper smock, open in the front, no bra. The tech, who looked about 14, gave me a gigantic paper towel to cover myself even more. What I needed was a blanket...FREEZING. The tech, said I was the 'coolest' person he'd had all day.

Good.

I will have ECHO's until the end of my life. I have done them since 2006. I had a life before my open heart surgery to replace my mitral valve. I do remember it. Before the daily meds, which includes Coumadin, where I have to check if my blood is too thin or too thick. The check is called my INR. My blood range must be between 2.5 and 3.5. I have my own little machine I can check my blood all by my lonesome. Vitamin K affects Coumadin. Who knew? I sure did not prior to 2006. I had a life before all of this. Before I had symptoms of a stroke which affected my speech and I wondered if I would ever be 'normal' again. After all this time, I sometimes have really short term memory issues--yet, I can tell you what happen what I did 45 years ago--well, maybe. :)

I did have a have a life before ECHOs and all this other stuff. Before it all became a major role my continue to have a life. I do smile at the memory of my past life and grateful I am able to smile about the future life I intend to have.

ECHO heard is from me as I shout from the mountain top I know where my strength does come from.

Realize

I can't stay up til 11:30 PM every night
And think I am able to function
Well the next day at work--
I ain't 20 something anymore when I'd go to
Work the next day, with still a buzz in my head
And on about 2 hours of sleep
So I realize the answer is
Naw. Can't do it.
Need rest.
Can't scrimp on it.
Got that message when I had that
Pesky open heart surgery for
My mitral valve replacement a few years back
Yea, fatigue sets in I know it.
Feel like lead. Heavy eyelids sting.
Today, I did make it thru. Not as well as yesterday
When I got a great night's sleep.
So my goal: to push my bedtime back an hour
It had been before.
Let Mr. Sandman, especially if he looks like Denzel
Do his thing-
While the cat chomps my fingers--again.
Realize, I wouldn't want it any other way!

Win Woo Walk

Hey, I'm walking again. I've always been mad at myself I didn't keep up my daily walk regimen when I bought this house two years ago. My thicker hips prove it. And I worry of my heart suffering because I haven't.

I've moaned and groaned about leaving my park and work out room that were literally out my back door at my old apartment. There was also a time my hot water heater had clicked off--which I didn't know all I had to do was push a button on it--I went over to the work out room and used the shower at about 6:30 in the morning.

Anyhow, I've been walking with Leslie Sansone alot. Have you heard of her? Very perky the lady is, as you walk in place, jog, kick knee lifts and such--all in comfy coziness of your house. The DVD I have of Leslie's goes up to 5 miles. I've not quite made it there--I'm getting good at two miles. I gotta trust her I AM doing two miles. I sweat. I ache. Not as much food is being chomped. Plus I can tell a difference around my waist and hips. My sleep at night is more restful too.

Yep, all good.
Walk. Does a body good.

Wednesday With Coumadin

Yep, I take the stuff. Have been since March 2006. Do I want to? If I had my choice-

Of course NOT!

Today I had a POKE--which is what I call my Protime/INR test. Basically a drop of blood is put on strip and run thru this little machine. Pretty like the one folks use to check their sugar. I get these POKE's at the most twice a month, usually just once. My blood range needs to be between 2.5 and 3.5--not too thin, not too thick--to prevent clots around my mechanical mitral valve.

So I sit, waiting for my name to be called. Once again, I realize I'm one of the three youngest people in the lobby. I sit by another POKE person. We both get involved with a cooking show on the Food Network--then I strike up a chat, because red peppers are being used.

OK, this other POKE person began to complain how Coumadin was rat poison (yes, it was used for rat poison once upon a time--I think in China or somewhere), how it's the bane of her existence, and how she takes more than me--then I tried to explain how Vitamin K affects Coumadin (I won't bore you with how--unless you ask) and she looked at me like was I was nuts. Then she made a comment about our President--and he was nowhere, nor was he on the cooking show we watched--then she went on to start cussing-and I tried to be calm and thought, "Well, there are a dozen doctors here if I punch her..." Then they called my name.

The young lady, Holly, who administered my POKE, says that lady is not very nice. And when Holly told me she saw my name, she came to get me, eventho the other POKE was before me. Holly says the lady has had to be restrained because she spewed racist comments about Hispanics and just got loud. None of the girls like her. Holly says she knows she made the other girls mad by taking me first--but oh well.

After all that, I was in my range. I don't get POKED again for another month. The only side effect I've really had because of the Coumadin, is fatigue--and if I'm real tired, I get a little loopy. Yet, that's usually at night--like now--and I just rest. I've learned to listen to my body.

Speaking of listening to my body: did I tell you if it's quiet and you're close enough to me--you can hear me tick? It's the opening and closing of my mechanical valve.

Coumadin may have been used to kills rats, yet its little orange pills (and this orange kitty) keep me tickin'..literally.

..and I like it like that.

Woo Hoo!

NO school work to do tonight! Got it ALL done at work today--!

Even some of my job too :)

Did I tell you I eyed a treadmill at Wal-mart the other day? GREAT price. Was in a box tho. So WHO puts it together? Until that mystery is solved, the treadmill stays in the box, in the store.

Hot again. 103 degrees F, with a heat index of 107--or was that 109--or really who cares? I put a pie pan of water for the birds in the back yard. It's cute to see them just stand in it. My backyard animals eat so much better than me--they need to get a job.

Last few days, as I've talked to folks, I've noticed they take quick look at my chest. I'm thinking, gee, are the bon-bons that over flowing? Then I remember, I've worn a shirt where some of my scar shows. Ya know, from that little open heart surgery adventure had back in '06. My scar got all thick and I've learned to deal with it. I know my scar makes some uneasy, yet I'm glad I've finally got to the point to let it hang all out. It does clash with stuff I wear sometimes, which is what ticks me--so I dust my scar with a little powder and off I go.

I recall a conversation about scars, with a non-physically scar'd chum. She made mention how some might wear their scar as a medal of honor instead of covering it. She had a vote for the covering it up. I responded how it IS my medal of honor, cuz if I didn't have it, I'd be dead about now.

And I ain't feelin' that.

So that note, I'm gonna end it for the day. Got me some FUN FICTION writing to do and Blue Bell Cookies n Cream Ice Cream to help shield from the heat!

It's ALL good--WOO HOO!

2:37 AM

Yes that is the time at this moment. Reunion stuff Saturday night and I had a ball! Had a great time Friday night, yet I was so weary from my gazillion mile drive from Dallas--which will be in another post--not just now.

Tonight. The conversations I carried on were more in-depth than, "How are you and where are you now?" like before. Conversations about life, laughs and fun arguments about music. Made some memories tonight. I smile now. OK--yea, I gained weight and was a bit antsy about. I admit it. However, I was stunned and humbled from words by my classmates--some I didn't even know as well as others. Amazed,

The question of "have you written another book?" waltzed thru the air so much, I had to sit a dance or two out. My answer of "no" wasn't what my classmates wanted to hear. I was shocked by the repetitiveness of the question. Was I being told something?

Two pictures snapped I will forever cherish. In fact, I have a picture with each guy from the few past reunions. Kind of like my scrapbook as I told them. As we stood, for our photo opt, I realized how much our lives have forever changed: me with my little open heart surgery adventure, while one guy is in remission for lung cancer and the other for leukemia. Yes, life as changed since strolling down that high school hallway...

Tonight was special. I'm glad I drove the gazillion miles to get her. Memories were made. I smile at that. And will give me pause to ponder as I drive back to Dallas.

Now I must hit the hay--There will be a reunion float in the 4th of July parade at noon. I intend to be ON ...

Glory be to God is all I can say ...

It's 10:54 PM

As I write this. I'm beat.

In charge of editing our team paper for my college class.

I will quit my stress over my own papers

After doing this. Oh MY, is all I can say.

I pray we get a good grade.

I don't like being up this late--even if it is just 11pm-

Get a second wind and usually can't sleep-

Ever since my surgery, in 2006, my body can

Be quite funky when I am tired --

The fatigue, at times make, me want to

Fall asleep in the space where I stand-literally

Along with my eyes burn--like now.

So no witty words tonight--

I'm tired.

I bid you good night-

Must say my prayers

And ask that He wakes me up tomorrow

To it all over again....

March 24, 2006 was Friday

On this day, in 2006, after 25 days I was finally released from the Hospital.

My souvenir of the said adventure was the scar on my chest. This was due to my little open heart surgery to replace my mitral valve with a mechanical one. And at the time there was a golf ball size bump at the top of my incisions, which eventually went down. I hadn't washed my hair in 3 weeks.

Before Movie Man came to get me, my Infectious Disease stopped in and said, "So this is what you look like in real clothes!" We both chuckled. Then when Movie Man came in, he was surprised how much thinner I was. Me too really. We were both glad I was out of the faded hospital gown. With Movie Man's carrying my stuff, a nurse wheel chaired me out of the walls I'd known for 25 days to Movie Man's truck.

That Friday was dreary and chilly. Yet, in my mind the sun's shine was everywhere! In Movie Man's truck, I sat in mostly silence. Just stared out the window. I realized I could have died 25 days ago.

Yes, the sun''s shine was there. .

Fast forward to this day in 2010. The kitty posted here who snoozes right by the monitor as I type this?

He ran so fast down the steps and meowed so loud, this day in 2006, when I called his name as I stepped inside my cluttered apartment. He jumped on the arm of the couch and head bonked me with meows so loud they rivaled the size of my tears.

I could have died.

I didn't.

Yes, the sun does indeed shine.

I am blessed.

March 14, 2006 was Tuesday

On this day in 2006, was my open heart surgery day to replace my mitral valve. Did I ever mention I didn't even KNOW I had a mitral valve until they told me mine was damaged by this infection called endocarditis? Anyway, since my date with the surgeon was to take place at a sister hospital, the paramedics were to come get me at 6AM.

They didn't. More like closer to 7am. I'd been awaken to take a quick sponge bath, change into my surgery gown, gather what belongings I had left and wait to be taken. Well, I waited.

When the guys did show up, I was strapped to a gurney and rolled on my way. All the nurse that taken care of me said their good byes and told me to call them to let them know everything was OK. For the brief moment I was wheeled outside from this hospital to the waiting ambulance and into the sister hospital, I had my first taste of fresh air in 15 days. Even filled with exhaust, I didn't care. Wonderful. The paramedics told me there was no way they could have picked me up at 6AM because, they didn't even start their shift until after 6. Oh well.

Since I was late, and my surgery was first of the day, the nurse in charge of doing prelims was ticked. I was released from the gurney and then she walked me to different stations to take my vitals. I realized how weak I really was--I couldn't keep with her on these short walks. The nurse grumbled how all surgeries were now pushed back for the day. Considering I didn't WANT a surgery, I was kinda OK with that. Anyway, the nurse took vitals and I remained silent and did as I was told. Then after the vital taking, a group of folks helped me back on a gurney to get me prepped.

They were all nice, asking if I was OK as they measured my mouth for a tube or somesuch. jabbed me for IV's and whatever else they did. Then I heard "Put her out."

Next thing I heard was, "Good Afternoon!" I squinted at the clock. 3:45PM. A tube was still down my throat. I just knew I would choke. I heard a female say, "She woke so fast. Where's the doctor?" I heard the same female voice talk to the doctor by phone, "Yes, she's awake already!" All in all, I was later told, by that female nurse she'd never had a patient wake up as fast as I did. They needed the doctor's OK to get the tube out of my throat. If I hadn't been strapped down, I was gonna pull that sucker out myself.

Fast forward to this day in 2010. Got my praise on at Inspiring Body of Christ Church, with Pastor Rickie Rush. Once again affirmed how people in your life, can step between you and your blessing. They may still be committed to the flesh, while you are now committed to your spirit. I thought of folks I've loved, yet at the present are out of my life. I love them, but we just don't connect--at least, for right now.

As for the rest of this Sunday, it's over 70 degrees. Sun continues to shine. The flowers posted up top are in my backyard at this very moment. Downed iced coffee and pet Perry the 81/2 year old orange tabby cat who was nice enough to keep me company while I typed this.

Now if you will excuse me, Mama got new tennyshoes and gots to take a walk. You see, because of this day in 2006 with my trust in One Who Knows to guide surgeons while I lie on that table with machines keeping me alive --I can. .

So I woke up too soon from surgery, eh? Well, I have things to do.

I am blessed

March 13, 2006 was Monday

And on this day in 2006, it was Open Heart Surgery for Mitral Valve Repair/Replacement Eve. Yes, the last night I would ever NOT have a scar on my chest, a keloid one at that. or pop six pills a day or realize some of my hair fell out or hear my own self tick when all is quiet or have EKG and PT/INR mean more to me than just letters for Scrabble.

That Monday night I walked my last visitor, of the day, Movie Man to the hospital elevator. He had stayed past visiting hours, which was common. Tears were in his eyes. I tried to smile and told Movie Man everything would be alright. As I watched the elevator doors close on Movie Man's wet eyes it signaled it was almost here. I turned and walked alone back to my room. Even with my trust in God, I wondered if He would just let sleep tomorrow and call me Home.

Fast forward to this day in 2010. WEDDING! Not mine. Heck, I'll be 100 before THAT happens. Nope, my chum who I baked the peach pie for her bridal shower, a couple Saturdays ago, got married. It's a bet overwhelming. I've had other friends marry, yet this one...hit me hard. I'm not old enough to be her mother, will--I coulda been, if I'd been active at a real younger age. There's a 14 year age difference between us. I've told her, when she was born, her family celebrated in her birth, while my family, just a 6 days later cried at the death of my mom. So maybe one is to live while another dies. I've seen my chum grow up, from a brat, when we could not stand each other, to this intelligent, business and independent woman. She really is like my baby sister, and we started our spiritual journey about the same time, so we grew in Christ. That was good.

When I arrived at the church, after overshooting the parking garage, the groom's mom (we bonded at the bridal shower) took me up to see the bride. My chum and both started to tear up as I told her how proud and beautiful she was and then she blubbers, "You're crying, I've never seen you cry!" We both laughed. It was a nice moment, and later at the reception one of her sister's showed me the picture she took of the two of us at that moment. Nice day, nice day indeed.

Now, if you will excuse I got me some left over wedding cake to snarf down and a Lifetime movie to watch.

I am blessed.

March 11, 2006 was Saturday

This day in 2006, I still remained in the hospital. Had visitors in and out. My open heart surgery was scheduled for the upcoming Tuesday. Looking back, maybe they wanted to get in what they thought might be their last words to me. A friend, later on said, she thought they were going to lose me. Well, I had other plans.

On this particular day, Bear was one of the last visitors. Turns out Bear was kinda ticked at me. Why? Well, because I didn't tell him first thing I was in the hospital. I'd been there a week before I told him. Bear felt because of our past, I would have told him. Well, in my opinion, because of our past is why I didn't tell him. At that moment in time, Bear and I had little to do with each other, for weeks and months. Why would I want to share anything with him? Yet, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew Bear would pray for me, and I needed all the prayers I could get!

I recall, I sat in a chair, donned in my faded hospital gown while Bear sat across from me. We've never spoken of what he thought that day. Looking back, I do believe Bear was scared. Except for the gown and being in a hospital and getting my BP checked about every hour, I was still me. Bear had a hard time with my illness--as time wore on, to a degree, I think he still does. You see, his dad passed away of heart issues at a young 58. There are times I wonder if Bear sees his Dad in me--which is only something Bear can answer. I've tried to reassure him of my health...

Fast forward to this day in 2010. Another gorgeous almost Spring Day. Received some good words from my classmates in this online class I'm in. That made me feel good. Gotta get my trash to the curb, chow on some salad, pet a cat and settle down to my Thursday TV watching--this is a night for me.

I am blessed.

March 8, 2006 was Wednesday

On this day in 2006, a doctor, who would definitely not be confused with any Doctor McDreamy from Gray's Anatomy, bounced into hospital room and blurted, "I've got good news for you! You're surgery is Monday!"

I looked at him and asked, "What's the good news in that?"

He looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. The good doctor explained the surgery would get me fixed up and out of there. With that he exited, as I sat there to digest his words. Yet, he was back in less than 5 minutes.

Turns out there were too many surgeries on Monday, so I was pushed back until Tuesday. And with that, the doctor left again. I sat there. Wished he'd come back and tell me all this was just a big joke. How my eight days (and counting) in the hospital was just a way to keep me away from sampling all the Blue Bell Ice Cream in Dallas....

Alas not to be. So, now I had six days to ponder my date with a scalpel and whatever would be needed for my open heart surgery to repair or replace my mitral valve. A valve I didn't even know existed until a week before.

That's what I get for not paying enough attention in my 6th Grade Life Science class...:)

Fast forward to 2010. Gotta paper that must sparkle for my college instructor, then I'll pet a cat or two, munch a salad topped with Roasted Red Pepper Vinaigrette dressing (YUM!) and then off to my church, Inspiring Body of Christ Church, to help celebrate Pastor Rickie Rush's 50th birthday and count down to my own birthday in 31 days...

I am blessed.

February 27, 2006 was Monday

On this day in 2006, I was wheeled into the ER at approximately 11am. I didn't leave until 7:30 the next morning when I was taken, cot and all to have a CT Scan. Got paranoid as I had to lie still. After about a half hour or so there, I was wheelchaired to the elevator, which stopped on the 9th floor of the hospital. As the elevator opened, I bout bust an artery when I saw "Neurology" on the 9th Floor. And nobody--friends or family knew where I was.

Little did I know I wouldn't leave until March 24, 2006.

Fast forward to this day in 2010. Sun shines. Cat is in the open window. I'm headed to a chum's Bridal Shower. The same chum who sat with me, for hours on end, in the hospital. This chum admitted she feared I wouldn't make it.

Well, I'm still here.

I'm not the most traditional person when it comes to showers, so since my chum asked for a peach pie--I baked one. It's cooling now.

So if you excuse me, I gotta go get ready.

More life left to be lived.

I am blessed.

Sums It Up

Saturdays help you sum the past week's happenings and realize ya gotta treat yourself to a little good will for YOU! !

For instance, I treated myself to a Down Home Cookin' kinda eatery, called Po' Melvin's -which is 5 mins from my house. Pass it every day and never stopped in.

And today I did. Po Melvin's had a breakfast buffet goin' on! Even omelets made to your specification. Let's say said visit to Po' Melvin's tummy was happy!

After my tummy fill, I headed to finally see multi Oscar nominated "Avatar." Went early enough that the movie price was still $4.50. And I think I'm glad. Folks I knew, who were skeptical about "Avatar." wound up enjoying it. Me? Well, I saw a lot of very tall, thin, striped blue cat people. I didn't hate "Avatar." in fact toward the end I kinda got into it. Was I spellbound? Was it something I'd never seen before? I saw lots of pinks, lavender and also where the millions of dollars James Cameron spent on "Avatar-" The movie's colors were quite vibrant, however was I captivated? Considering the characters looked like a cats, I shoulda been.

I wasn't.

Nonetheless I was glad I saw "Avatar" so, I'd have my own opinion. Come March 7th, James Cameron just might be King of the World again, as he totes a Titanic filled Oscar statues.

I also summed up stuff today, as I walked around the park by my old apartment complex. Like in days of yore, I made friends with the dogs walking their humans. Then I sat on my Forrest Gump bench, where I sat so many times during my recuperation from open heart surgery. I can't daily drive 20 miles, to just walk around this park, when I have parks and a rec center close at hand. Yet there's something about just being there...comfort. Security.

Saturdays help to sum things up. Makes you realize how far you've come, especially when there are times it feels as if you haven't taken one step.

Sunday Short Stuff

Yep. I really mean it this time. Short sweet and to the point.

Sun gone down on this Sunday and what a grand day it was (and still is!). Got the Praise on at Inspiring Body of Christ Church. I've enjoyed the lesson of what my mission is, that Pastor Rickie Rush has given. How to utilize the gifts God has given me. I know my speech and my words are part of those gifts. Before I had that pesky little open heart surgery thing on March 14, 2006, I had symptoms of a stroke, My speech was effected with slurred and skipped words. I was more afraid of not speaking like myself ever again, than whatever the diagnosis was. Since then I've been awakened how my words, verbal and written, have made people feel. A working gift in progress. .

Then the Dallas Cowboys Shut OUT the Philadelphia Eagles 24-0! LOVE IT!

Same teams. Next Week. Same stadium. Can the Boyz beat the Donovan and his Eagles 3 times this season? It's gonna be hard--yet CAN be done!

Great, GREAT Sunday. Now for a bit more Blue Bell Ice Cream to savour!

See--short, sweet and to the point...

Kinda. :)

Sunday Sum Up

The Iowa Hawkeyes won ugly 12-0. Dallas Cowboys won ugly 7-6. Yet a win is a win regardless how it looks. Still...

Today were the last services at the current location of the Inspiring Body of Christ Church, with Pastor Rickie Rush. Packed isn't even the adjective to describe how many people were there. Everybody wanted to share in the last moments of being inside. To experience the journey. Like I've said, Pastor Rickie Rush has been an acquired taste for me. And there are some things he says, I'm not 100% with, however that's when I know I have free will at my fingertips. Nonetheless, I admire Pastor Rush because it's been a struggle to get this new House built. Media has not been kind, even those that may have once been IBOC members. He weathered it all.

So on Thanksgiving morning, I will journey to the new location--right across the street--100 yards. The same distance Moses stood from the Promised Land he did not have the chance to enter. The new House looks beautiful. I've attended the Thanksgiving Service since 2003--my tradition. As I sat in service today, I wondered again why I haven't technically joined IBOC--especially since I've been in attendance every Sunday since about August? I continue to pray on that one. Yet, Pastor Rush spoke of how we have something about us that folks think make us not normal--however those very things we use to touch others.

In my case, I was born without a left ear (microtia), then becoming a motherless daughter at 13 and enduring pesky open heart surgery a few years ago. It all made sense. The things that have happened of late--even today. From folks I've known since my growing up years, who enjoy my quotes from The Word on every Sunday morning. These were folks I partied hard with back in the day--and today I smile, because we party--just in a different way. .

So I was in a pissy mood a few days ago. Nothing I can do about it. Already happened. Already done. And it was all pretty ugly--just like the two football games I DVR'd because I wasn't home--and watched in their entirety-not knowing who won or lost.

Games were ugly. Victory triumphed. Just like in Life.

I am blessed.

Sunday Sundown

Got my praise on at Inspiring Body of Christ Church, with Pastor Rickie Rush, today. Message hit home for me --as they seem to ALWAYS do--Why go through the trials we do as we wait for the good stuff? How our character, conduct and conversation are played out--do we cut those from our lives that drag us down or they really don't 'get' the light we have from our Walk.

Never been the patient person---that explains some horrid choices I've made. Plus patience was something I had to embrace during my open-heart surgery and recuperation. I couldn't do much and had to rely on others--which is not my thing. Yet, during that time-I had to. To feel like ALL of me again--too nine months. That feeling came over the Christmas --a present if there ever was one.

Also how folks may treat you different than before-which goes to your conduct, character and conversation, because of your Walk. This past Friday, a co-worker was upset about her job. Dropped the f-bomb a few times. I just let her go. She needed the rant. Then she said, "I am so sorry. I shouldn't be saying that. I am sorry." I smiled and told her it was OK. Wasn't that long ago I cussed better than a longshormen and down alot of vodka mixed cranberry juice, or orange juice or grapefruit (Hey, it was a way to get vitamin c!) Made me think I was Russian until about 2am or when the bars closed. Anyhoo, I'm humbled folks apologize for cussin'--it's kinda like if you knew ALL my story-you may not be apologizing! :)

Yea. Good message today.

To make me all the more strong. To make sure my faith remains where it belongs.

So as the day winds down--promised myself I would wash the dishes and mop my floor before my Sunday array of TV commences. I got the Blue Bell Cookies n Cream ready! And yes, the 74 ounces were sipped today!

I am blessed.

Sunday Moments

Had a couple 'a-ha' moments over the weekend.

First was the untimely passing of my favorite author, E. Lynn Harris at age 54. In 1991, he self published his first novel, while he lived and worked here in Dallas. The rest is history. When even E Lynn would make a book signing stop in Dallas--I was there. He's joked at one signing how he hated the fact he couldn't buy Orange Crush soda in where lived--it may have been Atlanta or New York--I can't remember which. Nonetheless, I found a six bottle carton of Orange Crush and took it to E Lynn's signing the next day. He may not have known my name, but he knew I was the Orange Crush Girl.

Last saw E Lynn was Summer 2008. Informed E Lynn his writing style was the most I wanted to emulate--because it made me turn the pages. After E Lynn thanked me, he asked, "So is your own writing doing?" He stared right though me--no excuse was good enough. There still isn't a good enough excuse. How IS my writing? A-ha moment indeed.

When you speak with someone once loved with all your heart. Spoke marriage once upon a time. Today was the first time we spoke--through our mouths and not text messages. Like receiving a root canal without numbing of the gums. It proved that season is so long gone. Yet another season could always sprout--just takes two to plant and water the seed. A-ha moment indeed.

And weight loss. I'd blogged I'd lost 70 pounds and kept it off for quite while. Then house hunt/purchase and job topsy turvy-ness happened first quarter of 2008 and became my excuse for alot of Tombstone pizzas. I tried to psyche myself out by not putting all my weight on the scale. But I knew. Two months ago, I finally joined the senior rec center in town and got back to how I was fed in the hospital, before and after my open heart surgery. Given alot of food, but lost weight. Fruits and veggies at every meal. Sometimes a couple helpings of both--different items tho. So I knew I ate alot, yet what I ate was good for me--and finally, FINALLY my scale some change. Still a ways to go--however I can tell a difference when I look in the mirror. The exercise helped. No more snacking M & M's when I'm bored. Just a few spoonfuls of Blue Bell ice cream instead of the whole pint--at one sitting. Now I have better nights' sleep, not so much bone creaking--feel better all around. Next month, I'll sign up for aerobics at the center. Is a handful of strawberries as much fun as a handful of onion rings? Of course not--but if you plan just right--you can have both! That's an 'a-ha' moment in itself!

So on this Sunday--gotta do a few more resume send outs, so I can veg the rest of the night.

He didn't bring me this far to leave me. I am blessed.