March 14, 2006 was Tuesday

And the day of my open heart surgery to replace my mitral valve.

On March 2006, morning the paramedics were late, at 7 AM, to transport me to the hospital where I would have the surgery. All of about a 10 minute drive if that. However it was the first time, in about two weeks, I inhaled the outside air. I did not care if it was laced with exhaust. I was outside. And free--if just for a few moments. I remember being prepped for my surgery. The preppers were all younger than me, yet I had to trust them. All nice tho. Then when whatever they completed what they completed a young man said, "Put her out."

***The next thing I knew, I woke up, with my arms tied down and a tube down my throat. Yea. I remember that REAL well. I wanted to yank that sucker out of my throat ASAP. I woke up sooner than they expected. Caught em off guard.

Good. It was almost 4 pm.

Anyway, I was taken to ICU. I dozed in an out. My feet felt containers between my legs. Of course, I tried to pull them out by my feet. Catheters. For my bladder and one for the incisions in my tummy for the fluid.

During one of my 'in' moments, I whispered to a nurse and asked what time it was. Twas a little after 7 pm. I asked her to turn the TV to "American Idol." Yep. You read right. "American Idol." I don't remember much of that episode. Yet I still was able to have some of my routine and watch one of my favorite TV shows--as I dozed in and out. My life changed six years ago that day -yet some stayed the same.

Just like tonight. Time for some "American Idol".

And I am blessed.

Thursday Tune Up

Naw. It wasn't for my car--

Eventho it could use an oil change for sure--plus a good wash I digress.

This tune up was for my heart. It was a six month check up with my cardiologist, Dr. Sara. I'll be honest, I was a little scared. Why?

Because Dr. Sara was going to review my ECHO (an ultrasound of my heart). When I took the ECHO, I was so under stress professionally, which slid off into my school work. I didn't have any solace. I just knew Dr. Sara would tell me my heart's lining had gotten thicker. This concerned her in my last appointment and was due to blood pressure. This go-round she was happy because it was back to normal. My EKG was 'clear' and no change to meds I take.

I had mitral valve replacement surgery caused by the disease endocarditis. A valve I never knew existed literally got feasted on by a disease I never heard of. What basically happened, bacteria from an infection landed in my valve and clustered. They decided my valve was tasty and dug in. A piece of the cluster broke off and journeyed to my brain. The neuro-doctor said I had a stroke that wasn't a stroke--basically my brain burped.

Well, it burped enough because my speech was effected for about a week. Slurred. Missed words, even tho I knew what I wanted to say but couldn't.

Now almost five years later, I got this exam thing down pat. EKG and ECHO are more than just alphabet letters. I check my own coumadin level. When the scar itches, I just scratch and pretty much forget who may be looking. I remember what it was like when it hurt to move an inch in bed, due to my breastbone healing and weeks it took to sleep on something else than just my back.

I don't see Dr. Sara again until July. She's a nice lady, looks like younger Susan Lucci. I don't want to see her any sooner than July, unless we're both eating pie at Celebrity Bakery. Dr. Sara's parting words to me were: "I don't know what you're doing, just keep doing it."

Yes, indeed--that's the kinda tune up I like!

I am blessed.

Twist

Kinda wish I had a twist of lime for-well-of course, with me, I'd buy 3 limes, use half of one and the rest would just rot.

Bad Thomasina.

Haven't been here in awhile. Did done the school thing, which included a paper due last night. I got it in. So quite tired tonight. Got another due next Monday--and I cannot wait until the last minute to do it.

Fretted about money. Yea, OK...NEXT!

Had to get my Coumadin level checked on Monday-which I call my POKE, cuz my finger gets poked for a drop of my blood. Ya know, to check if its too thick/too thin, since I have my little mechanical mitral valve clicking away inside me. Can't have any clots forming around it. Was in my range, so I don't have to go back for a month. Been doing the Coumadin since March 2006. Hard to imagine my life without it or the scar on my chest. Medal of honor in a way. I survived.

Wait--remember last week I spoke of Bear's Facebook's status was changed to 'married' and I text'd him congrats? Well, never heard from the guy until Saturday. Said he the account was hacked into by somebody who was trying to cute and funny. My thought: it was probably the female who wanted TO change that status to married. What made me feel good was, I was really OK with him being married.

Come a long way, Thomasina.

So as Dallas bakes in over 100 degrees F oven, I'm off to munch salad, pet a cat and give me a one night school break with aLOT of TV.

Twist of lime in a strawberry limeade....

March 14, 2006 was Tuesday

On this day in 2006, was my open heart surgery day to replace my mitral valve. Did I ever mention I didn't even KNOW I had a mitral valve until they told me mine was damaged by this infection called endocarditis? Anyway, since my date with the surgeon was to take place at a sister hospital, the paramedics were to come get me at 6AM.

They didn't. More like closer to 7am. I'd been awaken to take a quick sponge bath, change into my surgery gown, gather what belongings I had left and wait to be taken. Well, I waited.

When the guys did show up, I was strapped to a gurney and rolled on my way. All the nurse that taken care of me said their good byes and told me to call them to let them know everything was OK. For the brief moment I was wheeled outside from this hospital to the waiting ambulance and into the sister hospital, I had my first taste of fresh air in 15 days. Even filled with exhaust, I didn't care. Wonderful. The paramedics told me there was no way they could have picked me up at 6AM because, they didn't even start their shift until after 6. Oh well.

Since I was late, and my surgery was first of the day, the nurse in charge of doing prelims was ticked. I was released from the gurney and then she walked me to different stations to take my vitals. I realized how weak I really was--I couldn't keep with her on these short walks. The nurse grumbled how all surgeries were now pushed back for the day. Considering I didn't WANT a surgery, I was kinda OK with that. Anyway, the nurse took vitals and I remained silent and did as I was told. Then after the vital taking, a group of folks helped me back on a gurney to get me prepped.

They were all nice, asking if I was OK as they measured my mouth for a tube or somesuch. jabbed me for IV's and whatever else they did. Then I heard "Put her out."

Next thing I heard was, "Good Afternoon!" I squinted at the clock. 3:45PM. A tube was still down my throat. I just knew I would choke. I heard a female say, "She woke so fast. Where's the doctor?" I heard the same female voice talk to the doctor by phone, "Yes, she's awake already!" All in all, I was later told, by that female nurse she'd never had a patient wake up as fast as I did. They needed the doctor's OK to get the tube out of my throat. If I hadn't been strapped down, I was gonna pull that sucker out myself.

Fast forward to this day in 2010. Got my praise on at Inspiring Body of Christ Church, with Pastor Rickie Rush. Once again affirmed how people in your life, can step between you and your blessing. They may still be committed to the flesh, while you are now committed to your spirit. I thought of folks I've loved, yet at the present are out of my life. I love them, but we just don't connect--at least, for right now.

As for the rest of this Sunday, it's over 70 degrees. Sun continues to shine. The flowers posted up top are in my backyard at this very moment. Downed iced coffee and pet Perry the 81/2 year old orange tabby cat who was nice enough to keep me company while I typed this.

Now if you will excuse me, Mama got new tennyshoes and gots to take a walk. You see, because of this day in 2006 with my trust in One Who Knows to guide surgeons while I lie on that table with machines keeping me alive --I can. .

So I woke up too soon from surgery, eh? Well, I have things to do.

I am blessed

Rain Over

Where I lived, didn't have a whole bunch of it-yet enough to get a good soak. Even looks like the sun is trying to make one more stand today.

And it's 5:21 pm as I script this, so the sun will be for just a short while. I am so glad, that in a few months the sun will stick around longer than 6pm.

Today was one of those eye open kinda days. First I spent time at a car dealership, which I do loathe, yet the guy I worked with was nice. Plus I didn't feel that smarmy car dealer yuck. Alas, he did laugh at my want to put just 20 bucks down--hey, he asked. I didn't leave there with a new car, or in my case, I already have a 2006 HHR, which is my Pumpkin, and I wanted a newer HHR--in this case, BlueBerry. Upside down, I would so be--I may have to hold off for a couple more months--like my birthday--which is April...the BEST month of the year-more to put down. Stay tuned.

Also, the rain made me jot more notes of the writing project I put myself on. Excites me. Two novellas, with three short stories each. Christian based. One novella, historical fiction back in olden, olden times, where the Bible is being my main guide and Jesus appears a time or two. The second novella is set in modern day. The beauty of it, one story is finished as I work on a second, and have notes for the others. Pretty psyched.

Folks have asked WHERE this Christian interest came from. Trust me, it was NEVER on my to-do list. I thought being a star writer of future Penthouse Fantasy magazines would be ticket out from Iowa. Well, that never happened, plus I never did submit anything to them. Anyway, the feeling hit around the beginning of 2006. Actually read a piece I was working on to my writers' group. Not quite done, yet I wanted their feedback. It winded me so to read it and I kinda flubbed over words than normal. Thought I was just nervous---I was, since I'd never written anything like this. Well, two days later I landed in the hospital for three weeks. Yea, for the whole mitral valve replacement surgery thing. Yea, talk about detour.

And to sell my homemade pies. The idea of being able to make this finally happen is on paper. Not quite one of Oprah's favorite things, yet I hope a handful of folks would be interested. Goal is to ship for arrival by Valentine's Day weekend. All transactions would be done thru Pay Pal. I feel good about this too.

So yep, an eye opening kinda day. Sun still tries to show itself, while I now feel some of my bubblegum inner self trying to emerge. So we'll let Bobby Sherman tell " Little Woman" to come on down from her cloud and leave her world behind...

Naw. I'm busy.

Monday Marvel

My Cousin Sussers was to be released from the hospital today. Will call her tonight just to make she's following the doctor's orders.

Saw my first robin today. I smiled. I could hear my Daddy, up in Heaven, whisper in my ear, "See your first robin, Spring is not far behind." Heard him tell me that so many years. I miss my Daddy. And I can hear him say, "You big baby." And I would respond with, "Yes I am. I'm your baby. No matter how old I get." Then Daddy would chew on his King Edward cigar.

The marvel of cleaning out litter boxes and to put trash by the curb. It's such a chore. And the one time, I really wish a man was here full time to do the trash thing. Then my mind wanders to after I had my mitral valve replacement surgery and my first full shower after. I ran out of breath just as I dried myself. I had to sit down. I about collapsed getting to the chair.

Panic. Would I always need to stop and catch my breath? For anything--even as simple as drying off?

When I mutter about the trash I should remember how it was in 2006, and how it is now.

I'll take now. Quite the Monday Marvel.

I am blessed.

February 28, 2006 was Tuesday

Remember it well. After spending all of the 27th day and night in the ER, and having a MRI or was it a CT scan?--it doesn't matter I had them both--first thing the morning of the 28th, I was taken to a 9th floor room in the hospital. "Neurology: was on a sign to welcome me. My speech was hit, miss and slurred. Once in my room, a nurse figured I'd had a stroke. She told me this as she put down my breakfast tray, gown and readied me for an IV.

Petrified.

At that point, nobody knew where I was. Looking back, I had an emergency contact. My best friend. She was not notified.

The stroke, was not really a stroke, yet a symptom of endocardities. A piece of that infection broke off and traveled to my brain. My brain burped as the Neuro Doc said, hence my speech became hit,miss and slurred.

The endocarditis damaged my mitral valve-until this adventure I had no idea we even had such a thing-so it needed to be replaced. My scar reminds me everyday.

I left the hospital on March 24, 2006

Fast forward to 2009. I'm headed to Winstar Casino in Oklahoma. To try my luck on the penny slots---yea, I live dangerously--

Some folks think I already have.

I am blessed.

No Beggin' On This Friday

Cousin Sussers is doing fine from her quadruple bypass surgery. Her son, well--my 2nd cousin, I'll call him Second, gave me the good news. Sussers had all ready taken a few steps. Been sitting up in a chair. I kinda chuckle at that. Because the night before her surgery, I told Sussers they'd get her up real quick after surgery. Sussers schoffed.
Well, she ain't schoffing no more.
Second said his mom was still a bit woozy, but was eating.
That was good.
How the docs said Sussers came through surgery very well.
Then Second told me his mom dropped the "F-bomb"
Yea, I knew she was on the way to recovery.
So I wanted to remind her of something.

I told Second to remind his mom, my dear sweet Cousin Sussers, I would always be her cutest and always younger cousin. Hence, this ever so wonderful picture!

Second sent me an e-mail tonight to say when he told Sussers what I said, her heart rate went up 2 points and she rolled her eyes.
Yep, my Cousin Sussers feels much better.
For her, here's a little Temptations Ain't Too Proud to Beg. While I'm sure Sussers is past beggin' to get out of the hospital and bopped doctors upside the head with her tray as she lept to freedom from her window.

Yep, we're all family.

Thoughts for Tomorrow

11 am February 26 a couple things will happen at the same time.
Movie Man will exit the building for the final time.
Sussers, a cousin in Iowa, will have quadruple bypass surgery.
You talk about some emotional tugs here.

Movie Man--OK. I know I'll get weepy. However, I will see him after I get off work tomorrow for a cup o' joe. Plus we have a road trip Saturday. But ya know, Movie Man is still leaving the building we've shared the same floor since July 2003. Movie Man said some great stuff to me today. About my strength and how I helped all my 'kids' get stronger and encouraged them. The whole be patient thing kicks in--because my kids have all left, and as Movie Man says, I'm the last leaf on the tree. It's time for me to float off to my own adventures. Hmm. That guy is good. I wonder WHERE he learned to say stuff like that? More about him tomorrow.

Sussers. She's been like my big sister, even though I really didn't realize it. During when my mom died, when I was 13 and when my dad's health faded and eventual death in 2001. I was grateful she was there. Sussers is 13 years older than me. Her mom and my dad were siblings. Mom and Dad adored her (Hey, don't tell Sussers' siblings!) She's back in Iowa. Where all the memories are. I need to call her.

When I had my little heart adventure Sussers checked on me, and I know--worried--like I am now. Even as old as I am, Sussers and her three siblings' still say I'm their cute little cousin they usta lock in the closet. Oh wait--they tell me I just imagined that. Uh...sure. Nope, I'm their little cousin they took to the movies, scared me about the boogey man would come and get me, or take me to my dancing lessons. Sussers' mom made the BEST biscuits--while Sussers--well--can make pretty good nachos...:)

Anyway, my own cardiologist told me, recovery wouldn't have been as long or intense, if I'd had bypass surgery. Why? Because with bypass they work outside the heart--while with my little mitral valve replacement adventure, they have to go inside the heart. Nonetheless, I need to call her, before she reported on CNN by being the Iowa woman who makes a daring hospital escape. Trust me on this. We're family. It could happen. Besides, Sussers needs to get this little adventure outta the way. She's gotta be stong enough to make me more nachos! Cute cousins deserve such treatment! :)

Tonight's Stuff

Ever since I can recall, I never much made it a plan to listen/watch any speech given by the president. Except for Richard Nixon's resignation and Bill Clinton's Monica-gate. Outside of that--not so much. Really didn't even plan to listen to President Barack Obama's Address to Congress tonight.

But I did.

There are parts the media, opposition and the folks drinkin' coffee at Denny's will disect. I liked what President Obama said about no more tax breaks for companies who send jobs oversees. Or the pledge for healthcare and energy. The president, who is three years younger than me and I'm still trying to get around that, spoke of education. How all should pledge to get more education--like at least a year more..

Hmm. Kinda confirms what I've had on my mind. Years ago, I was a pre-K aid and tutor to older kids. I LOVED it. Hence, I started out be a teacher, and I let detours get in the way. So it didn't happen. Today, I go between criminal justice or physical therapist assistant. Folks I know will chime in. I like the thought of doing more. Help out. I'd still like to talk with folks that experienced their chests cracked open so they could have a little heart work done, like me. Stuff to think about. So time to look into some college catalogs.

Personally, I think President Obama did well on his first time in front of Congress. It's only been a month since he took office. Folks need to remember he's not exactly Moses. Even tho, like Moses, President Obama knows where his strength comes from.

And so do I.

A Day

one day closer to Movie Man leaving me. Not in a bad way. In a good way...for him. Movie Man had a good interview today. Proud of him. Know he sparkled. Happy for him, kinda yuck for me It's that whole patience thing I have to remember. It's all in His time. Not mine. That really is the kicker. I am better than I was in the past. Some folks, who read this blog may disagree. :)

Oh well.

On the bright side. I headed for my Poke today. That's what I call my Coumadin check-due to having the mechanical mitral valve in my heart. I tick. Did you know? When it's real quiet, you can hear me. Anyhoo, the Coumadin check is to see if my blood is too thick or too thin. Vitamin K affects Coumadin aka green stuff like broccoli or spinach. Today I was right in the middle of my range. 3.0. So I don't have to go back for another month. Glad. Through this whole ordeal, I've not had one major setback. Very Glad.

And since we're in February, it's when I start to reflect how my life changed in February 2006, February 27 to be exact. The day paramedics carted me to the ER. I spent all day and all night, and nobody knew where I was. Left the hospital on March 24, 2006--scar and all. Movie Man picked me up. Took me to Wal-mart so I could buy groceries. I drove that little cart and ran over everybody. I digress, plus I was scared to even THINK about spinach or broccoli, cause the nutritionist told me 'avoid it at all costs' because of the Coumadin. I didn't buy any that day.

Took me six months to finally get OVER that. Brings me today. I'm consistent in my Vitamin K eating. Don't think twice. Your body needs em. Just need to be consistent. Today, I'm in my range. Feel good. Cardiologist says, my valve works great, my heart itself works great, and she knows all is well with me. Even tho Movie Man might leave me, that's OK--it's time for him to move on. He'll just owe me a burger at the best burger place in Dallas: Burger Island! :)

On this day I'm very, very glad.

Monday Medicine

Got POKED today. That's what I call my Coumadin check aka INR. Because of the possibility of clots forming around my mechanical mitral heart valve, I pop Coumadin everyday. And let me just say this up front: I HATE to pop pills of ANY kind. Even while in the hospital, for my surgery--one of the nurses said, "Don't be so brave!" Which meant I wasn't asking for many painkillers. The pain I felt was more of an annoyance than anything else. Having the the breastbone heal can be an impatient kind of thing. The day I could finally sleep on my side, I almost ordered up a parade--and that was still some weeks after surgery.

So back to this pill thing. I HATE it. I don't want to take Coumadin or anything else I'm prescribed. My blood pressure pill, for instance, looks like something only my friend Flicka would get down easily. To pop a pill, to me, is to admit there's something wrong. Kind of a pisser really. Something I've had to work on mentally.

And had to learn how to feel good about eating Vitamin K, which effects Coumadin. We're talking green leafy vegggies here: spinach, broccoli. The more you eat of Vitamin K, the blood clots. Consistency is the name of the game. Guess you could call me a poster child. Unless,something else comes along, Coumadin and I are bonded together forever.

Oh well.

This little thing called "life" keeps me grounded. I realize I will do what I need to do to keep truckin. Sure, there's some side effects. Minor ones in my thoughts. I've had a few--fatigue for one, yet a small price to pay for a glassful of Life. And besides, there are cats to pet and Blue Ice Cream to savor. I can deal with what I gotta do, in spite of not feelin' a whole lotta love for the meds.

I am blessed.

And Now It Begins

The New Year....2009! It's two hours and fifteen minutes old. I came home starved, but I had to do something first before I could munch. Went outside, looked up to the stars and gave my thanks. Expressed my confidence to be able to handle whatever He decides. To test me and my character on the path to blessings. For the past few years, I'd done this ritual on my apartment balcony and just pray nobody would do a drive-by as an extra firework for the New Years! This year was different. I was out in my own backyard. Sat on the bench, where Movie Man had bees buzz around his bald head this past Spring. On my balcony in 2006, I told God I knew something was coming and felt it could be handled. Three months later I had to decide if a little open-heart surgery would keep me down or if I would just rest, get up and live life. This year, as my buns froze on that cold bench, I told Him let's write this next chapter. Then I came in and ate a bowl of Total Raisin Bran instead of the fudge I craved. *Sigh*

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Mummy Monday

So lethargic I am. From 2:30 AM this morning, I tossed and turned. A cat curled to me, slept as only as fur covered brick could-deep. Our rousing game of fetch tuckered him out--not so much me. Laid there and asked what God tried to reveal to me. The job? Oh please---that job has always been about the people I've met. So blessed I've been. My health? Continues to be great--I've lost 7 pounds. My love life---hmm...OK--let's all yawn on that--I ask God these questions. I hear, "I got your back."

My problem is, I've not given up all the anxiety my flesh floods with. Need to work on that. He's in control. Realize that more now than days past. Will realize more in days to come. Hmm. Maybe Tony Romo will need to take a lesson of that too--let the anxiety go.

No walk tonight. Too exhausted. One drawback from my mitral valve replacement surgery, is fatigue. When I am this tired, just want to stop and give myself 40 winks. And this could mean when I drive. Scary. I pray to fight to keep my eyes open. Had to do it tonight. Made it though.

Trash is by the curb. Cats had their dinner snack. Birds have their food. My contacts are out. I'm headed to the couch. Just in case I doze off during Dancing With the Stars and/or Boston Legal, the DVR is set.

God's got it. It's already done. Gotta remember that. I am blessed.

Dancing With The Stars Toni Braxton

OK--the show is still on while I write this. Just wanted to say a bit about Toni Braxton. Admired her vocal talent yet was never really a big fan. When I heard Toni would do the show, I also knew about her pericarditis, which is an inflammation of the lining of the heart. I read about her illness a couple years ago and floored because of Toni's younger than me age. Tonight Toni said how doing this show was personal for her, how she wanted to work on her fears.

Hey, this songbird and I have something in common. With my own mitral valve replacement surgery, I wondered so many things. Like my first full shower after surgery. It exhausted me--what could I ever be able to do? I sat in a chair, draped with my gown over me because I was too tired to put it on. Had to catch my breath. Was this the best it would ever be?

So Toni, I understand your fear. Eventho I knew God was with me, still had 'to do' to prove to myself I could. For me, it was racquetball. Petrified that first time. Not sure what would happen. Sometimes I still don't. Yet, I played. And still do. Like you and Dancing With The Stars. And you got my vote!

Hmm. Think I need to buy out a Toni Braxton cd tomorrow.