Thoughts of Past Loves

The Holidays are pretty much right here.
Yep.

 Especially since three Christmas movies, in the last three days, between Lifetime and Hallmark, danced their sugar plum sweetness in front of my eyes.  I've pondered over a past love.

Well, I thought he was a past love.  

As time has marched on with twelve drummers drumming, I realize the guy-- no matter, how attracted I thought I was was to him, the guy really was a lump of coal in my stocking.  

I mean, when the two of us first met, the guy was still legally married to his wife.  Only found out  that, when he was married to his second wife. It is funny, because at one point he was serious about marriage to me. Since we both loved to write, he believe we could back to our Midwest roots, live like Bohemians on no money, and bask in the growth of cornfields out our front door.   

Some of the story IS true, however my dad's health was failing fast.  The guy knew how close I was to my dad.  He felt being close to my dad, even if we were dirt poor and watching corn grow would be good. Since I didn't know the guy was married (I had no reason too) I thought his heart was in the right place.

Of course, now,  I wonder how he would have pulled that off.  I thought more about this past love as I checked the Christmas movie guide.  The years passed and he says divorced has since happened with the second wife. I asked him why he wasn't honest about being married.

"It was how you interpreted it" he said.  Huh? Did I mention, we were in God's House, when I asked him?

As I chuckled, I told him to not say that.  Heck, he's the one the said he'd been married a year, six months in and six months to get out. I never saw evidence of a woman at his place. Never thought I needed to interrogate him. With five ladies pretty much dancing in his life, I told him he knew he was married and made a choice to not share that with me. 

The guy apologized. Was he sincere? Maybe. The lump of coal relationship had red flags all over it, yet I chose to deny their wave in the breeze.

Times have changed.  I thank God for clearing out my head.  And I also think Hallmark and Lifetime for having a pretty good Christmas movie line up this year. 

Pass the popcorn. 

A

47 Minutes

Until it's Friday--which I consider to be the best darn day of the week.
Just a flash back to Thursday while it's still Thursday.

I trekked to the Goodwill to look at glass vases and glass plates. If you take time to look, it is amazing what treasures are among junk. My big catch tonight were three Arcoroc France plates, then fine china bowls, two glass vases and other stuff all for 17 bucks and 81 cents. The Arocroc plates could have been easily been five-eight dollars apiece. In my case they weren't.

Came on home. Did laundry. Picked up leaves in my yard to press them in books. Painted plaques and terra cotta pots. I realized my all-time favorite acrylic paint color is metallic black. Ate pizza bonded with my girlcat who decided she wanted to be held-first time since about September. Watched TV, specifically "True Lies" with Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold Schwarzenegger when we still loved him. Put laundry in the dryer. Watched more TV, specifically a sappy, romantical Christmas movie on Lifetime--and decided to head to bed.

Now there are 23 minutes left until Friday gets here.

Good.

March 13, 2006 was Monday

And on this day in 2006, it was Open Heart Surgery for Mitral Valve Repair/Replacement Eve. Yes, the last night I would ever NOT have a scar on my chest, a keloid one at that. or pop six pills a day or realize some of my hair fell out or hear my own self tick when all is quiet or have EKG and PT/INR mean more to me than just letters for Scrabble.

That Monday night I walked my last visitor, of the day, Movie Man to the hospital elevator. He had stayed past visiting hours, which was common. Tears were in his eyes. I tried to smile and told Movie Man everything would be alright. As I watched the elevator doors close on Movie Man's wet eyes it signaled it was almost here. I turned and walked alone back to my room. Even with my trust in God, I wondered if He would just let sleep tomorrow and call me Home.

Fast forward to this day in 2010. WEDDING! Not mine. Heck, I'll be 100 before THAT happens. Nope, my chum who I baked the peach pie for her bridal shower, a couple Saturdays ago, got married. It's a bet overwhelming. I've had other friends marry, yet this one...hit me hard. I'm not old enough to be her mother, will--I coulda been, if I'd been active at a real younger age. There's a 14 year age difference between us. I've told her, when she was born, her family celebrated in her birth, while my family, just a 6 days later cried at the death of my mom. So maybe one is to live while another dies. I've seen my chum grow up, from a brat, when we could not stand each other, to this intelligent, business and independent woman. She really is like my baby sister, and we started our spiritual journey about the same time, so we grew in Christ. That was good.

When I arrived at the church, after overshooting the parking garage, the groom's mom (we bonded at the bridal shower) took me up to see the bride. My chum and both started to tear up as I told her how proud and beautiful she was and then she blubbers, "You're crying, I've never seen you cry!" We both laughed. It was a nice moment, and later at the reception one of her sister's showed me the picture she took of the two of us at that moment. Nice day, nice day indeed.

Now, if you will excuse I got me some left over wedding cake to snarf down and a Lifetime movie to watch.

I am blessed.