Thoughts of Past Loves

The Holidays are pretty much right here.
Yep.

 Especially since three Christmas movies, in the last three days, between Lifetime and Hallmark, danced their sugar plum sweetness in front of my eyes.  I've pondered over a past love.

Well, I thought he was a past love.  

As time has marched on with twelve drummers drumming, I realize the guy-- no matter, how attracted I thought I was was to him, the guy really was a lump of coal in my stocking.  

I mean, when the two of us first met, the guy was still legally married to his wife.  Only found out  that, when he was married to his second wife. It is funny, because at one point he was serious about marriage to me. Since we both loved to write, he believe we could back to our Midwest roots, live like Bohemians on no money, and bask in the growth of cornfields out our front door.   

Some of the story IS true, however my dad's health was failing fast.  The guy knew how close I was to my dad.  He felt being close to my dad, even if we were dirt poor and watching corn grow would be good. Since I didn't know the guy was married (I had no reason too) I thought his heart was in the right place.

Of course, now,  I wonder how he would have pulled that off.  I thought more about this past love as I checked the Christmas movie guide.  The years passed and he says divorced has since happened with the second wife. I asked him why he wasn't honest about being married.

"It was how you interpreted it" he said.  Huh? Did I mention, we were in God's House, when I asked him?

As I chuckled, I told him to not say that.  Heck, he's the one the said he'd been married a year, six months in and six months to get out. I never saw evidence of a woman at his place. Never thought I needed to interrogate him. With five ladies pretty much dancing in his life, I told him he knew he was married and made a choice to not share that with me. 

The guy apologized. Was he sincere? Maybe. The lump of coal relationship had red flags all over it, yet I chose to deny their wave in the breeze.

Times have changed.  I thank God for clearing out my head.  And I also think Hallmark and Lifetime for having a pretty good Christmas movie line up this year. 

Pass the popcorn. 

A

Another House Part II

Visited Friendship West Baptist Church with Pastor Freddie Haynes. I hadn't been there in a couple months, yet I was pulled there today. Pastor Haynes is quite the 'lively' character. Admits to 'telling it like it t-i-s' and regrets not a word from his mouth. Yea, he's brash and bold. Gotta admit I kinda like that.

Friendship West Baptist Church is a megachurch---a Black megachurch. Pastor Haynes makes no bones about it being any other than a Black church. Other megachurchs, with predominately Black congregation, I've heard say their congregation is made up of every race. Pastor Haynes, really hasn't said that in three time I've visited. Maybe he has and I've just missed it.

Anyway, Pastor Haynes preached from 1 Corinthians 13:11. How it's a tragedy if where we are right now, is just where we're suppose to go. Need grow up, like Paul said in Corinthians. Not just chronologically, but spiritually. As bold and brash as Pastor Haynes was, he brought it on home to me. We know we are growing because what once fit, doesn't fit anymore. Then how the past no longer makes us settle in our future and lastly, we know we're growing when we begin to come into our own. God is where we get the strength from. Put your trust there and don't look back.

Think thoughts you've never thought before. Step steps you've never taken before. Believe like you've never believed before. Just remember to look unto the hills and see where your help does come from. That's Psalms 121 and Pastor Haynes didn't put that in....I did.

A good day.