And...

I had my writers' group Saturday afternoon. We had a potential new member visit. Our group needs some new blood. I admit I've not written more than 2000 words--that's fiction--in months. I write papers for school and stuff for work, yet not any 'fun' stuff. I hoped the new person would ignite some fires.

All in all it was good to have somebody new there. To get a new slant on things was long over due. The potential new person has run her own speciality shop here in Dallas for 23 years and has written children books. I wish I could say I came home, plopped in the front of the PC and zipped off 10, 000 words.

No. 'fraid not. I did come home and try to print on a napkin--just one more time.

When the napkin, anchored to a piece of cardstock, jammed my printer and I had to rip it to pieces to get it out of there-Well, before I saw the "press here to eject paper' message on the printer's window--I realized my one more time. was indeed my final time.

At least the potential new person said they would return for our next writers' group meeting. We didn't scare her off---too bad. :)

A Writer Writes...

Me and Francis Ray. One of my fave-o-rite authors. Photo snapped a couple years ago. Serious Tina Turner crazy hair goin' on. I liked it tho. OK, back to tonight. Francis had a book signing tonight. Just a couple minutes literally away from my house. Francis is such an inspiration.

She still has a FULL time job. Yep. Works in the Dallas School District and written a few dozen of best seller books. Francis tonight mentioned again, she's still a bit self concious about her writing. Yea. OK. This author has more books coming out this year and another 5 in 2012.

I told Francis, since I've been back to school along with work, I just do not want to sit in front of the PC any longer than I must. The lady stands up, takes my hands, looks into my eyes and tells me how burn out is the hardest thing to overcome, yet I'm the only one who can write the story that I see.

OK. I did tell Francis I got my creative juices out by doing my pots. Francis hugged me and smiled, "And next time I see you. You better have written something too."

Stay tuned.

Christmas Eve 1998 was Thursday

Was going to repost what I blogged in 2009. 'cause I liked it and thought it summed it all up--even my thoughts-for 2010. Then gandered in my 'history books' -aka my diaries- to check what happened on Christmas Eves passed. As I started to read 1998, I smiled and remembered it well. I'd forgotten these events happened on Christmas Eve.

Back in my Iowa hometown for Christmas, and I actually flew instead of driving. Hmm. I wonder who babysat the cats or if I bordered them? Anyway. there was snow and a temperature with a wind chill of a gazillion below zero. Far cry from even the coldest days in Dallas. I also had my usual December sniffles and wondered if I would shake them before my one and only book signing of my one and only book in our town's library scheduled in a couple days.

My 'history book' says as I came in the house from getting a newspaper because there was a notice about my book signing in it, the phone rang. It was the mom of Dwight, a classmate of mine. I was floored. She was thrilled about my book and would I please come over to her son's house (my classmate) and spend a little of Christmas with them? I was floored still. My dad and step-mother had told me how my Dwight's mom had called the house wondering about me and they'd run into her while they shopped in my town one of the two grocery stores.

I forget my sniffles. I put on some kind of cute sweater. I had to take my step-mother's car, which I was surprised it didn't freeze up on the maybe 5 minute--if that-drive to Dwight's house. It was about 8pm or so. Pitch black, and iceberg cold. It's Iowa, so you just bundle and go.
Dwight and known each other since we were in grade school, yet this was the first time I was in house, with his parents and his kids. One of sons and I share the same birthday, so that's cool. The whole night was cool and great. His family was wonderful. Honestly, looking back, it was kind of an intro to people asking me questions about my writing. We chatted, laughed and just fun. It was soon close to 11pm. .

Dwight's parents left and so did the kids. They had their own friends to tend to. Dwight and I sat on his couch. Just the two of us. Dwight was one of the most popular guys in our high school. Blond, blue eyed. We'd always known each other. In fact for my 18th birthday party, he stared the pool to get me flowers. On the day of my party, I was presented with 3 1/2 dozen red roses. All because of Dwight. Back to this night in 1998, I remember Dwight held a copy of my book. He gushed how I had written it and all I could think of "We're sitting here alone. Talking and listening to Christmas music!"

We chirped like the two 16 year old kids we both felt like. Then this song came on the radio, "Blue Christmas." Dwight says, "Let's dance!" I go, "I HATE this song!" Well, the question became how could I possible hate Elvis?? I didn't. Just this song was not my favorite Elvis song.

Didn't matter. Dwight and I slowed dance and laughed to this song. And then he kissed me. Yea, I was definitely 16 again. In all the years we'd known each other, Dwight and I had never kissed like that. I smile now. That night, I remember we talked about so many things, our lives, past and future, including our love lives. He had split up with somebody and my man was back in Dallas--at least I thought he was my man. That didn't matter either, because Dwight kissed me again.

The wind howled outside and I didn't care. It was one of those 'if time could stop' moments, because it may not even happen again. And it hasn't. Sure, when I'm back in my hometown, I always see Dwight. The electricity zips and zaps from both of us. I wonder if Dwight wonders how it could have maybe been different....That night we talked like we never talked before or since. We were the only two on the planet. It touched me.

The whole point is, that Christmas Eve in 1998, I told Dwight whenever I hear "Blue Christmas' by Elvis, and only Elvis---I'll always think of him.

....and I wonder if he does the same.

Oh, and when I left Dwight's house? My step-mother's car would NOT start for about a half hour. Then it finally did and I had to let it run to warm up. It may have been 40 below windchill factor. I realized then how I don't miss Iowa winters.

Until I said good night to Dwight.

Sweet, blue moment in time.

Wired Wednesday

Haven't been here in a few days. For one, I had a paper due on Monday which I completed on time. Until I receive a grade, I have 96% in the class, and this is its final week. GLAD! Kinda tedious, yet just a jolt of fresh air after the last class. UGH.

On this day, I ponder the new paper I must write by this coming Monday, and my portion of a paper for the team project--which we have not even discussed, except it's over General Motors. There's a final exam I gotta take which has a time limit of 3 hours. I've read some of the text--not ALL, and I will before the exam. That's gotta be done by Monday too.

Hmm. Then my writers' group meets Saturday and must have critique done and the exercise of 200 or so words for it. I also wanted to have a draft of one of my stories for my novella to share--yet I don't know when I can get that done. And the play, I think I mentioned that's due Sept. 1.

On top of all that, I realized how tired I am being broke. God does provide my needs, so I make it. I get fed--which my hips brag about. So do the cats. Yet, I want to go to New York for the weekend. Why NOT? Takes money. This house has drained me. Wait, that's not really true. The mortgage payment itself is great--the taxes and that yahoo stuff dampens the sidewalk. I'd like to get rid of the car's payment--Something has really got to give. I'm considering giving up the cable, heck I've lived on less....

I think of the business ideas. Small in stature, yet could be big in returns and would fun to do.

Peach pie anyone? Cute cat calendar? Cute cat night shirt? Pot holder...?

Outside of that, I am going to play I mentioned a couple weeks back on Friday night--looking forward! In fact, someone else offered to drive me there and back, since it's a good 20-25 miles and I'm good at getting lost--I hopped on that. The someone who the ride is actually the male lead in the play-so I KNOW he knows where he's going! :)

Well, kinda wired on a Wednesday....

And nothing that a little Sonic Strawberry Limeade Chiller can't cure...all's good!

Saturday Just...

HOT.

Got up and headed to the grocery store and I think that's about it for me today. On the outside anyway. You can tell I wasn't too serious about other errands if I didn't pop in my contacts in. Nope, got my 100 year old bent, scartched up glasses on.

Suppose to creep to 104 degrees F today. Joy. I'm gonna make my own iced coffee. I seem to buy it everyday, why not save my couple bucks? Got watermelon. Even got peach sorbet instead of my ice cream. It was on sale, so I'll give it shot. Could be tasty. I'll let you know.

In the meantime, gonna work on my stories for my novella. I think I finally have the idea, which really was the original idea--a collection of short stories, with the same backdrop. I tried to change it up, yet the original idea really is the best.

So stuff to get done. And I promise myself I won't take too much of lead from these kitties...

Well, maybe not TOO much....

Just a bit

Wanted to check in. Work has been interesting as we head into our first Month End that matters as we strive to make bonu$. My boss, who is nice eye candy, and I still don't much eye to eye. We tease and such, yet outside of that--I can't just get behind a guy who says, "We have to crawl" to get to the next step of our jobs. There's no "Let's fly! Let's see how high we can go. or even take a bigger step' Nope--it's "crawl"---and I asked him the other day if he thought he was a motivator. He said he was. My guess is if you're about 22. I'm just learning to remain quiet.

Anyway, there's--the writers' conference I volunteer for is this Saturday. Plus, I got great news, I'm eligible for a $1000 grant for school. And the all 70's Reunion for my high school is over the 4th of July. How long have I known about this? Since before school and work became major factors. I don't want to spend the money to go--even tho it would be a blast--and I don't want to drive 750 miles, unless a cheap air fare comes into play. Yea, it would be fun. Lots of fun. I don't want to spend the dough. So stay tuned.

I've thought about men who came in and out of my life. I'd like to get married--no, I'd like to have fun date with a man who actually does OK with cats--I need to find a vet to date! :)

Stay tuned.

Check In

Haven't written on here since Sunday. Able to take a break from the blog (and my cat took a break from his blog too!), plus a breather from school work. Ever since school, seems I live on this computer. Nonetheless, all good, and the break was needed!

Met up with a former co-worker last night at Starbucks. Talked about her loss of job,(they downsized) however she found her passion and writes a book and has dabbled in public speaking. She inspired me--and I realized I'm seeing someone else grow up and do great things. Very nice time. Also she runs and has done marathons--so she told me to kick the Wal-mart tennyshoes to the curb and get some REAL ones....

Also told a NY Bestselling Author about my idea about a middle aged love story--she likes it and encouraged me on.

Realize how you can care for folk, but they may see the worst in something, while you see the "why not?" in the same thing. And it makes you sad, when you know they won't be going up the mountain with you...

Looked over figures to figure how to get product made so I can to be a vendor at a cat show in June. Need a real silent investor. Stay tuned.

Kate Gossellin FINALLY got booted of Dancing With the Stars--GREAT! She cried. Here's a tissue--bye.

Gotta new flavor of ice cream that waits for me: Blue Bell Cake and Ice Cream...vanilla ice cream with chocolate cake bits and chocolate sprinkles....

Just to check in.

All is well.

Am Too

That's what I am. It's 9:14pm. I promised myself I was going to bed early tonight..and I am.

Did some school work. This instructor--has already given me positive feedback on my posts. I'm beginning to think this Human Services Bachelor of Science thing I'm goin' for is a good thing. I do have do alot of writing for this particular class this weekend--plus I'd like to do some of my own fiction writing--my novella cries to me to add more words to it. I'll see what I can do.

Oh, and I tried to prune my wisteria tree--yes, tree--I hope I didn't kill it. Anyway, a branch popped me in the face. Since I take a blood thinner, I won't be too surprised if I have a bruise. Anyway, I'm pretty proud of myself for taking on such a task. It had grown enough, it had wrapped itself around my neighbors' tree branches....

And the kitty posted here? His name is Noir and has his own blog, Noir's Nook--which seems to get more hits than mine. Hmm. I can't be hating on my own cat, must be cuz Noir purrs! :) Anyway, I took snapped this picture just a few minutes ago. Noir perched on the blankee I have for a cat who decides to keep me company while I toil on the PC. Noir decided tonight was his shift. however Noir does decide when his shift is also over--cuz Noir pulled an Elvis and left the room....

...and I am too.

Hoop Saturday

The day started with rain. Lots of it. It stopped, yet and the rumor of snow seemed to stop right along with it. The wind had other ideas tho. On to my day, which included my Writers' Group.

During our session, I realized I write everyday for school, my blogs, Facebook, and any other e-mails that don't fall into the Facebook file. What I've not done, is write as much on my fiction. My goal was to finish a draft of my novella by my birthday (that's April 8th, to the rest of my world). It can still be done..uh...yes...it can.. :)

Then back at home, I had to complete a school assignment, while I waited for the University of Kansas vs University of Northern Iowa NCAA Mens' Basketball Tourney game to commence. Imagine my dissatisfaction the Dallas area wasn't carrying the game.

Well, today I realized how much I LOVE technology! Headed to the PC. Pulled up my school assignment, while I went to CBS.com to pull up the game. For the first time, pretty much ever, I sat in front of my PC and watched a entire game! Little team from Northern Iowa, let's call Team David slew Team Number 1 in the Country Goliath aka Kansas 69-67.

Who knew? Nobody saw it coming. Except maybe the team, UNI fans and me. Yesterday, I informed a co-worker, who is a Kansas Jayhawk alum, that UNI had a chance. He gave me a look of, "Are you crazy?" For a few moments, I forgot how good lookin' he is.

Still, nice to know the ones thought most weak, are indeed can be the most strong!

Congrats to the University of Northern Iowa Panthers!

**** Update***** The snow rumor wound up being TRUE! It's 10:15PM as I write this. The weatherman told how it was snowing about 30 miles north of me. I peeked out my window. VOILA! A light blanket of snow. Does not cover the all the grass--yet snow on the First Day of Spring in Texas nonetheless! Miracles never cease, just ask the University of Northern Iowa!

Sun Sum Up Saturday

Such a GORGEOUS day in Dallas and the best time to be in Texas!

Had a good girl gab fest last night with a chum over some yummy Mexican cuisine. The Bride2B's dream is to be an actress full time. She was in college to study architecture, and close to graduation, when the bug bit her. Since, then as she pays her dues, here in Dallas, she told how when the head of theatre asked her if she could wake up tomorrow and do what she loved for free-what would it be? Her answer was to act. I do believe she will go far.

As for me, I thought about the question. My answer was to write. I put down words on paper since grade school. I devoured books--hey, this was so before the internet and cable TV, and the only way you could see a movie is if you went to the movie theatre. I was so into making up the make believe others saw. Dance, music, acting--all was on my mind..

Alas, I didn't follow that dream. As I watched the Iowa Hawkeyes beat the Wisconsin Badgers today, I remember Iowa denied my entrance application, those years ago. My grades weren't good enough and they suggested I attend a community college first. I felt like such a failure. Community College? ME? Bolderdash! Instead of even giving a thought to what the University of Iowa suggested to do and to learn to be patient, I just went on my merry way to show them.

Oh my. Well, turns out I didn't show them much of anything...

Live and learn, especially on gorgeous days like this one, which the Lord has made.

Stay tuned.

September 29, 1998 was Tuesday

...and I was out with a guy at a sports bar. I'd brought him a baked potato from Jason's Deli because the sports bar only served peanuts. We'd just had this phone chat how we wanted to know each other better. How he thought I was attractive. I'd recently decided to be more open and let the last two relationship slip out my memory banks---One was a married man and the other became a crossdresser. Yes, another post for another time. And the Texas Rangers were in the play offs for the first time in about ever.

It was also the time I first met Bear. He told how I intrigued him and bought me a couple drinks. I tried to eat my potato from Jason's Deli as I wondered how one man could hit on me while I was supposedly there to be with another. I guess, cause the man I was there to be supposedly with felt his buds were more interesting to talk to than me. Used me for the Jason's Deli potato, I'm sure! Bear did ask for my number, yet I hum and ha'd. Let me just say, we had our first (and kinda last date) 10 days later. OK, all that's another post too.

However, that main reason Bear and I began to chat was because of my book. Yes, you read right. My book. I'd self published and on this day, in 1998, I'd received my first shipment of 30 books. The publisher had made a a mistake and duplicated a couple pages and asked me what I wanted to do. One option was to still take delivery of these 30, while they worked on rest of my order. You see, my goal was to have my books by this date in 1998, because it was the anniversary of my mom's death. The book is primarily the story of a mother-daughter relationship. This book was a tribute to her.

Self publishing my book was an adventure in itself. The internet was far from what it is now. All samples I received from publishers was done through snail mail. Did I get rich? Did Hollywood come callin'? Did I get Whoopi Goldberg to play the mom--in fact, I thought of her playing BOTH parts, then I thought Queen Latifah could be the daughter...anyway, those dreams still float in my head today.

September 29, 1998 was one of those days you remember and still smile about.

Now, on this day in 2009, I've rediscovered my love for writing. Because of my book and the happenings after it, I didn't write anything but e-mail for three years. Felt like a failure. God sends me to Habakkuk 2:2 many times. He's shown me what words can do, even tho at times I may be hesitant to write them.

Stay tuned.

Sunday Short

A couple things--well, really three things happened during my trek to the church house, Inspiring Body of Christ Church. today. Seems like I've been visiting enough I should just join--yet I haven't--however that isn't one of the three things that happened.

Pastor Rickie Rush taught from the Book of Luke-specifically the story of Jarius who asked Jesus to save his dying daughter. What hit me about this was, I wrote a short story from a 12 year old girl's point of view about this same story. I'd tried to submit it--well, once to a Christian magazine, then to a couple others who said they had interest is possible play production. None of it happened, so the story has set still. Honestly, I'd almost forgotten it today. It was as if I was told "it's time." Stay tuned.

The other thing was Pastor Rush's talk of fear of perhaps being alone. How others don't love you like you love them. How you might do things for them, which may be a way to make sure they stay around. Like you're buying their love. Yet you can't understand why the folk leave anyway. BINGO. Another a-ha moment. I've done that with just about every man I've loved. and even some women who I wanted to be my best good girl friends. The girlfriend you drink coffee and eat cheesecake with and talk about all the men in you life. Maybe I was scared of being alone. Or scared my bold personality would scare them off. Nonetheless, if some of those people remain in my life, the relationship has shifted. I now know The One I need to lean on. I don't need to buy His love, for it's already done.

The last thing was during most of the service a six month boy, Micah kept me company. He was on my shoulder or either on lap. Micah's smile brightened the room and my heart. Even fed Micah his bottle and happy he didn't even spit up on me after. Having Micah in my arms made me realize how much I miss not having my own family. Never thought I would be this age and not have my own kids. I have those where I am their other mom or big sister. It's a role I've learned to cherish. Yet some where in the last 20 years, I lost 20 years. Just need to make sure I don't miss another 20.

In the meantime will enjoy the rest of the Sunday.

I am blessed.

Sunday Moments

Had a couple 'a-ha' moments over the weekend.

First was the untimely passing of my favorite author, E. Lynn Harris at age 54. In 1991, he self published his first novel, while he lived and worked here in Dallas. The rest is history. When even E Lynn would make a book signing stop in Dallas--I was there. He's joked at one signing how he hated the fact he couldn't buy Orange Crush soda in where lived--it may have been Atlanta or New York--I can't remember which. Nonetheless, I found a six bottle carton of Orange Crush and took it to E Lynn's signing the next day. He may not have known my name, but he knew I was the Orange Crush Girl.

Last saw E Lynn was Summer 2008. Informed E Lynn his writing style was the most I wanted to emulate--because it made me turn the pages. After E Lynn thanked me, he asked, "So is your own writing doing?" He stared right though me--no excuse was good enough. There still isn't a good enough excuse. How IS my writing? A-ha moment indeed.

When you speak with someone once loved with all your heart. Spoke marriage once upon a time. Today was the first time we spoke--through our mouths and not text messages. Like receiving a root canal without numbing of the gums. It proved that season is so long gone. Yet another season could always sprout--just takes two to plant and water the seed. A-ha moment indeed.

And weight loss. I'd blogged I'd lost 70 pounds and kept it off for quite while. Then house hunt/purchase and job topsy turvy-ness happened first quarter of 2008 and became my excuse for alot of Tombstone pizzas. I tried to psyche myself out by not putting all my weight on the scale. But I knew. Two months ago, I finally joined the senior rec center in town and got back to how I was fed in the hospital, before and after my open heart surgery. Given alot of food, but lost weight. Fruits and veggies at every meal. Sometimes a couple helpings of both--different items tho. So I knew I ate alot, yet what I ate was good for me--and finally, FINALLY my scale some change. Still a ways to go--however I can tell a difference when I look in the mirror. The exercise helped. No more snacking M & M's when I'm bored. Just a few spoonfuls of Blue Bell ice cream instead of the whole pint--at one sitting. Now I have better nights' sleep, not so much bone creaking--feel better all around. Next month, I'll sign up for aerobics at the center. Is a handful of strawberries as much fun as a handful of onion rings? Of course not--but if you plan just right--you can have both! That's an 'a-ha' moment in itself!

So on this Sunday--gotta do a few more resume send outs, so I can veg the rest of the night.

He didn't bring me this far to leave me. I am blessed.

Did you know...

I was part of Michael Jackson's posse? Yes, I was. Michael loved the way I made a peach crumble top pie. Sure. Michael would fly into DFW, with the kids, and come on over to the house. Yep. The kids loved my neighbors dogs. Would run and meet the ice cream guy as he jingled down the street. You bet. While the kids would romp in the fenced in backyard, my cats would watch them through the windows. Then Michael and I would sit on my patio, sip ice tea and take in the fragrances of the flowers in my back yard as we would chat and laugh. Sure did. Michael would get the grill going. Oh yea. He'd have his hair back in a pony tail and wear an apron that had "Smooth Criminal" embroidered on it--which by the way I did myself. As Michael grilled our burgers, he would repeat how he could come to Dallas and nobody knew he was there. OK. So, Michael, the kids and I chomped on burgers and other picnic fare. Really? The kids loved to throw pieces of their buns to the birds in the back yard. Even a squirrel would come only so far. Hmm. For dessert we'd have my peach crumble top pie with vanilla ice cream. Michael turned into as much of a kid as his kids as he dug into his pie ala mode. Uh-huh. Just peaceful for him. And a place where the kids were just kids. And just as quick it was over. Hmm. The SUV that had brought them to my house, was now back to get them. Michael and the kids piled into the SUV that was permitted to deposit them right by their private jet on the runway. Yea? I hugged all the kids saving the biggest hug for the biggest kid: Michael. I wanted him to take his "Smooth Criminal" apron with him. So when he cooked it would remind him of Dallas. WOW. Michael said he didn't want to. The apron would be worn only during those special times-like being in Dallas. And now those times are done.

Don't I sound like some of these people coming out of the woodwork and cracks in sidewalks to say how they knew Michael? It's all ridiculous now. Get the toxicology reports--Quick. Keep the kids with Katherine who should give them to Janet--Quick. And let Michael just rest in peace.

Quick.