Sunday Short

A couple things--well, really three things happened during my trek to the church house, Inspiring Body of Christ Church. today. Seems like I've been visiting enough I should just join--yet I haven't--however that isn't one of the three things that happened.

Pastor Rickie Rush taught from the Book of Luke-specifically the story of Jarius who asked Jesus to save his dying daughter. What hit me about this was, I wrote a short story from a 12 year old girl's point of view about this same story. I'd tried to submit it--well, once to a Christian magazine, then to a couple others who said they had interest is possible play production. None of it happened, so the story has set still. Honestly, I'd almost forgotten it today. It was as if I was told "it's time." Stay tuned.

The other thing was Pastor Rush's talk of fear of perhaps being alone. How others don't love you like you love them. How you might do things for them, which may be a way to make sure they stay around. Like you're buying their love. Yet you can't understand why the folk leave anyway. BINGO. Another a-ha moment. I've done that with just about every man I've loved. and even some women who I wanted to be my best good girl friends. The girlfriend you drink coffee and eat cheesecake with and talk about all the men in you life. Maybe I was scared of being alone. Or scared my bold personality would scare them off. Nonetheless, if some of those people remain in my life, the relationship has shifted. I now know The One I need to lean on. I don't need to buy His love, for it's already done.

The last thing was during most of the service a six month boy, Micah kept me company. He was on my shoulder or either on lap. Micah's smile brightened the room and my heart. Even fed Micah his bottle and happy he didn't even spit up on me after. Having Micah in my arms made me realize how much I miss not having my own family. Never thought I would be this age and not have my own kids. I have those where I am their other mom or big sister. It's a role I've learned to cherish. Yet some where in the last 20 years, I lost 20 years. Just need to make sure I don't miss another 20.

In the meantime will enjoy the rest of the Sunday.

I am blessed.