Showing posts with label Motherless. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherless. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

September 29, 1998 was Tuesday

...and I was out with a guy at a sports bar. I'd brought him a baked potato from Jason's Deli because the sports bar only served peanuts. We'd just had this phone chat how we wanted to know each other better. How he thought I was attractive. I'd recently decided to be more open and let the last two relationship slip out my memory banks---One was a married man and the other became a crossdresser. Yes, another post for another time. And the Texas Rangers were in the play offs for the first time in about ever.

It was also the time I first met Bear. He told how I intrigued him and bought me a couple drinks. I tried to eat my potato from Jason's Deli as I wondered how one man could hit on me while I was supposedly there to be with another. I guess, cause the man I was there to be supposedly with felt his buds were more interesting to talk to than me. Used me for the Jason's Deli potato, I'm sure! Bear did ask for my number, yet I hum and ha'd. Let me just say, we had our first (and kinda last date) 10 days later. OK, all that's another post too.

However, that main reason Bear and I began to chat was because of my book. Yes, you read right. My book. I'd self published and on this day, in 1998, I'd received my first shipment of 30 books. The publisher had made a a mistake and duplicated a couple pages and asked me what I wanted to do. One option was to still take delivery of these 30, while they worked on rest of my order. You see, my goal was to have my books by this date in 1998, because it was the anniversary of my mom's death. The book is primarily the story of a mother-daughter relationship. This book was a tribute to her.

Self publishing my book was an adventure in itself. The internet was far from what it is now. All samples I received from publishers was done through snail mail. Did I get rich? Did Hollywood come callin'? Did I get Whoopi Goldberg to play the mom--in fact, I thought of her playing BOTH parts, then I thought Queen Latifah could be the daughter...anyway, those dreams still float in my head today.

September 29, 1998 was one of those days you remember and still smile about.

Now, on this day in 2009, I've rediscovered my love for writing. Because of my book and the happenings after it, I didn't write anything but e-mail for three years. Felt like a failure. God sends me to Habakkuk 2:2 many times. He's shown me what words can do, even tho at times I may be hesitant to write them.


Stay tuned.



Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A Day Like No Other

The lady is my mom. One of three pictures from those photobooths, somewhere in the ’60s. Have so few pictures of Mom. Due to most of the pictures I do have, Mom snapped. I’m told I favor her. My dad would say I looked just liked her. An uncle said I laughed like her. Don’t remember her laugh. I wish I did. Today is a bittersweet. For this moment, I put on my tennis shoes so I can get a quick walk in before Dancing With the Stars Results show. While I walk, I’ll think about Mom. How we would have gotten into DWTS. She loved to watch me dance eventho she relayed the heartbreaking ‘fact’ (what my dance teacher said) “Black Girls can’t be ballerinas.” All I ever really wanted to do was dance on my toes.

Often wonder what kind of friends Mom and I would be today. Sure, she’d be 80 this year, but I know my mom wouldn’t be like her grandma’s 80. Get my wit, determination and, I suppose my assertiveness from her. I miss my mom. Our life together was cut short so many years ago. September 24, in 1971 was a Friday. I raced home to tell my parents about my day that included a pep rally. I just wanted to see them because Mom hadn’t felt well for a few weeks. Since she’d elected weight loss surgery, three months prior, in June. Mom laid in bed, with my dad by her side. I saw Mom alive for the last time that night as paramedics wheeled her from our home. Mom pet our Siamese cat goodbye and told him to be good. Mom kissed me and told me when she wasn’t there I was woman of the house. Then I heard “Mama love " for the last time.

We buried her on September 29.

I’m thrilled about today. Eager for tomorrow. Sad because I miss yesterday.

I am blessed.





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