March 11, 2006 was Saturday

This day in 2006, I still remained in the hospital. Had visitors in and out. My open heart surgery was scheduled for the upcoming Tuesday. Looking back, maybe they wanted to get in what they thought might be their last words to me. A friend, later on said, she thought they were going to lose me. Well, I had other plans.

On this particular day, Bear was one of the last visitors. Turns out Bear was kinda ticked at me. Why? Well, because I didn't tell him first thing I was in the hospital. I'd been there a week before I told him. Bear felt because of our past, I would have told him. Well, in my opinion, because of our past is why I didn't tell him. At that moment in time, Bear and I had little to do with each other, for weeks and months. Why would I want to share anything with him? Yet, I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew Bear would pray for me, and I needed all the prayers I could get!

I recall, I sat in a chair, donned in my faded hospital gown while Bear sat across from me. We've never spoken of what he thought that day. Looking back, I do believe Bear was scared. Except for the gown and being in a hospital and getting my BP checked about every hour, I was still me. Bear had a hard time with my illness--as time wore on, to a degree, I think he still does. You see, his dad passed away of heart issues at a young 58. There are times I wonder if Bear sees his Dad in me--which is only something Bear can answer. I've tried to reassure him of my health...

Fast forward to this day in 2010. Another gorgeous almost Spring Day. Received some good words from my classmates in this online class I'm in. That made me feel good. Gotta get my trash to the curb, chow on some salad, pet a cat and settle down to my Thursday TV watching--this is a night for me.

I am blessed.

February 28. 2006 was Tuesday

And on the morning of this day in 2006, I'd been wheelchaired to the 9th Floor, aka the Neurology Floor. I guess that meant I wasn't going home any time soon. A nurse came in and told me her name was Carolyn. In her arms were a gown and a breakfast tray. I hadn't eaten anything since the morning before. I reckoned the IV's stuck into my arm, during my wondrous stay in ER, amongst folks that coughed and gagged and nobody in my court even knew I was there, musta curbed any hunger I might had.

Hungry now tho. Carolyn told me to change into the gown-yea, I wasn't going anything where THAT day-and eat my breakfast. Carolyn said she'd be back in minute because she forget the thingy to take my blood pressure. I sat in defiance to not put on the hospital garb.

In a flash, Carolyn was back as I buttered my toast. As she pumped up the blood pressure cup, Carolyn said, "I bet you had a stroke. Uh-huh. I bet you did."

I stopped in mid-chew of my toast. What? After Carolyn's diagnosis and blood pressure check, she then ordered me to put on the gown.

Any appetite was gone. Carolyn left as a parade of doctors entered. A neurologist and his students stood before me. I heard clear speech in my head, unfortunately, it wasn't so clear coming from my mouth. The neurologist, who within 30 seconds I knew I couldn't stand, gave me simple directions to do--well, on a normal day anyway. Today wasn't so normal. I was informed I had a stroke and you want me to touch my nose with one hand and tug my ear with the other?

I couldn't do it. Then the doctor wanted me to say "Huckleberry". I heard him, but couldn't muster to say the word. Who says "huckleberry, " anyway? Due to my failure of those two non-Olympic tasks, the doctor figured I just couldn't understand the tests ahead for me.

Wrong.


OK. Fast forward to this day in 2010. Why is it Pastor Rickie Rush, of IBOC, had a message so right up my alley? How the gifts YOU think you have just effect you, while God's gifts to you effect everybody? Pastor used his desire to be a lawyer and started college as such, for an example. As he went on, he realize it wasn't what he was gifted with. I can so relate to that. I made a decision to go to not one, but two travel schools, because I loved geography and thought it would be cool to send folks traveling, if I couldn't do it myself.

Wrong.

Pastor Rush also spoke there may be a period of separation from those you may hold dear. But the thing is, they may stand in the way of your gift, because you do hold them so dear. You love them, yet they have issues with you trying to get somewhere. I instantly thought of three people, and thought of the separation between us. I fathomed it must be all for a good thing. And the woman beside me said I felt the message, I am anointed and remember God's arm is around me. Well, me thinks I need both arms...

Anyway, I got long winded and do not apologize for it. Got words in my mouth so I say 'em, because I can and there was a time I thought I never would again.

I am blessed.