Bittersweet Memory...

 This song reminds me of one particular man, who I'll call 43. Yep, 43 and it is not his age, but the number on his high school football jersey. To top it all off, I would say the 43 in French, so nobody knew what a couple of  freshman girls were giggling at.  OK, to fast forward about 100 years from high school, 43 and I reconnected at a high school reunion. And this song was one of his favorites.  Honestly, I hadn't made much attention, yet 43 jacked up the radio, sang along with it, and told me to sing too. Well, some gifts I admit, I do NOT have. :)

43 and I had a short lived relationship. The fact we lived a few states away from each other didn't help matters any.  Everything I hear this song I still think of him. More so, in the last few days even tho, we've not spoken in a couple years.  I found his mother passed away recently, and her funeral is today in our Iowa hometown. His mother thought I was OK, until she thought we might really be in love. The fact 43 was white and I was a gorgeous bronze shade didn't help matters any either. :)

On this day, I think of 43 and his family. I pray they remember the good memories of their mother and rejoice their parents are now re-united.

Life is a precious thing.

2:37 AM

Yes that is the time at this moment. Reunion stuff Saturday night and I had a ball! Had a great time Friday night, yet I was so weary from my gazillion mile drive from Dallas--which will be in another post--not just now.

Tonight. The conversations I carried on were more in-depth than, "How are you and where are you now?" like before. Conversations about life, laughs and fun arguments about music. Made some memories tonight. I smile now. OK--yea, I gained weight and was a bit antsy about. I admit it. However, I was stunned and humbled from words by my classmates--some I didn't even know as well as others. Amazed,

The question of "have you written another book?" waltzed thru the air so much, I had to sit a dance or two out. My answer of "no" wasn't what my classmates wanted to hear. I was shocked by the repetitiveness of the question. Was I being told something?

Two pictures snapped I will forever cherish. In fact, I have a picture with each guy from the few past reunions. Kind of like my scrapbook as I told them. As we stood, for our photo opt, I realized how much our lives have forever changed: me with my little open heart surgery adventure, while one guy is in remission for lung cancer and the other for leukemia. Yes, life as changed since strolling down that high school hallway...

Tonight was special. I'm glad I drove the gazillion miles to get her. Memories were made. I smile at that. And will give me pause to ponder as I drive back to Dallas.

Now I must hit the hay--There will be a reunion float in the 4th of July parade at noon. I intend to be ON ...

Glory be to God is all I can say ...

January 19, 1974 was Saturday

And I went to my first real time high school dance. It was held at our town's Armory after a high school basketball game, which my diary tells me. was a loss. However, the next line tells me the dance was BEAUTIFUL. I actually wrote it in caps. Too funny!

First I wonder who got us TO the Amory, because neither I or my possee had a driver's license yet. And I doubt we walked, because it was January in Iowa afterall. Even if the Armory was just a few blocks away.

But the dance. My first ONE! So psyched. I'm sure I wondered if I would even dance with anyone. My diary tells me, I danced with a guy from my French class, three times. I was horrible to him in French class--you see, during a speech I called him a 'cochon'--which was pig. My teacher wasn't amused, but he was. Wonder what ever happened to him? I also wrote how this other guy I danced with, jetted around the floor like a turkey--just all over the place. You ducked to make sure he didn't bop you in the head with his arms. Sweet guy tho. Even found me when he heard about my book I self published. Very sweet indeed.

Yet the night belonged to a guy I had such a mad crush on. In fact, mentioned him on the blog a few times. We reconnected, years later, at our 20th Reunion. He lived in Chicago by then. However, this night in 1974, all my dreams came true when we danced--twice. The second dance wound up being the last dance of the night. I wanted to put my arm around him, I wrote. He called me by my first name. Melted, I did. Back then, I had a nickname I still hear when I head home, but to hear my actual name uttered from HIS lips, while a chat over a can of soda pop? I floated higher than the clouds. I felt like a princess eventho my gown was faded blue jeans, and tennis shoes.

During our 20th Reunion tryst, Chicago Chum wondered how it would have been different if I'd told him my feelings. He said he never realized I was crazy about him. I guess that's what writing fiction is for--to have the stories come out the way you want.

I smile at the memories my diary made me remember.

Now cue up Steve Miller and "The Joker"--it had been #1 a week before the dance. Don't know if it was played that night in 1974, I just know I like the song.

October 14, 1974 was Monday

And I was oh SO sad. Downtrodden really. The Guy I mentioned on October 10, had since left our fair burg. I was beside myself. Has the first major big time crush I had that was not a classmate or some celebrity. By 1974, I was into the Osmonds, but this Guy beat them!

Just a recap of that weekends' events. On October 11, Guy's final day and you woulda sworn he WAS the celebrity. I recall a girl, from one of the high-up cliques shed enough tears to flood the hallway, as she left his classroom. I waited and tried to be the final one the Guy spoke to. Somehow it was just the two of us, and I can't remember what I muttered. Anyway, I tried not to cry as I thought it was my final time to see him.

Wrong. The Guy asked if he could see me the next day to say good-bye. I was 16 and quite content to fall and bust my head wide open after I heard him say that. So on Saturday, October 12, he came to my house, I was nervous and such. I'm sure he noticed. We went to the dance studio of a friend of mine. She had a crush on him too--and proceed to show him how she danced on her toes.

Always hated her for that. To dance on her toes, I mean. Yet, she hated me more. For you see, when The Guy drove me home--and this was still broad daylight--he hugged me tight and said good bye. I'd never really seen any of my high school mates, have such PDA's--so I felt so grown up. Alas, I didn't know what to do, yet I returned his hug.

The hug just lasted seconds, alas I wanted it to be forever, but it didn't. Our hug ended and that was that. Innocent. He left and I felt as if I stood on a cliff to watch ships sail out to sea.

On October 13, I called the family that had hosted him during his stay in our fair burg. The nice woman said he'd left that morning. It was official. He was gone. She said, "He was the nicest guy."

So move on to Monday, October 14, and the return to school. It felt empty. Outside of three close friends, no one knew what happened. How would I go on? Did he think of me? I just doodled on my notebooks for the first couple of classes until a classmate asked if I'd been home Saturday night.

Huh? The classmate who asked me was one of the guys who would shoot hoops with The Guy I still didn't get the questions.

Well, turns out, a bunch of em got together on Saturday, and The Guy drove past my house enough, they wondered why he didn't just stop.

That made my day.

Life did go on. And I saw The Guy just one other time--January 1975. He broke my heart. You'll have to wait until January for that one. :)

Fast forward to now. I found The Guy on the Internet a couple years ago. We exchanged a couple e-mails. Life has treated him well. Married. Kids. Made me smile when I read he remembered me. And the girl of 16, in me wondered, he'd ever seen me when I grown up...

Here's a song even when I hear it 2009, reminds me of The Guy. Why? Because I heard it for the first time, just minutes after he hugged me good bye and left. I sat in a corner and cried.

October 10, 1974 was Thursday

And I day I was pretty sad. You see, a man, an older man at that, was about to finish student teaching at my high school the very next day. I was so downtrodden, as I'm sure alot of other girls were, but I didn't really care about them. Heck, I was 16 and was so sure my crush on the Substitute Teacher surpassed all others. He was 22, with blond hair, Paul Newman blue eyes, and held every high school girl's heart, including mine.

All pretty innocent. Even by today's standards: -nothing happened, except the silliness of a 16 year old girl attempts to flirt--which I yet to read the "How To" manual. My flirt skills kicked into gear one earlier Friday night, during a HS football game. I stood with my chums on the bleachers, while he stood with some others kids, but they disappeared. I guess it could have been half time. I just remember he stood by himself and I inched over to him. Made some crack if he's the student teacher. Of course, he said yes, then he asked my name.

I was hooked. None of my high school mates were as polite or as cute. For the next couple of weeks, until the night he was to say good by, I did my best to flirt and chat with him. I didn't have any class he taught, so I'd hang outside his door. And my day was made when he waved while standing in front of the class he was teaching.

Bittersweet high school memory. I figured my quality of life would suffer so after I saw him for the final time the next day. So hard to fathom he would be gone after just a few weeks in my life. Hey, I was dramatic, even then for a 16 year old. :)

Flash forward to today in 2009. I was possessed to walk around the park where I'd trek so much during my recuperation time, back in 2006. The park right by my old apartment. Was a chilled and dreary day, and driving over to that park was on my mind since last night. I just figured I'd head to the rec center before I did all my errands.

Wrong. I had to go around that park, like I use to and sit on my bench. Felt right. Felt good. I know I need to make more memories at the park, just a few blocks from my house, but today...I wanted to be in that park. I was the only there. Just like it was then. The wind brushed through the leaves and kissed my face. I always felt God was telling me all was OK. More memories and dreams of tomorrow as I sent on my bench.

Just like the day back in 1974.

As much as something changes all stays the same.