Saturday, March 17, 2018

1042 Days

Yes, 1042 is the number of days since my last post.
I never intended fore such an hiatus from something I did enjoy quite a bit.
I do remember my daily blogs eased even  prior to that day in 2015.
I blame being back in school and having to make a choice. I spent so much time on a computer. I worked full time, and then being a non traditional student with homework at THIS age!  :)   Finding the time AWAY from a computer became a goal.  I needed a break---so the blog was cut.

Yep. This is how the cat looked and how I felt. 
Anyway, I decided I wanted to blog again. So much has happened since we last met. I did graduate university with a Bachelor Science in Sociology. I discovered art. I enjoy creation of the unknown with color on canvas.  

This is pretty bizarre coming from a woman that, as her Junior High self, asked Mom and Dad if they would still love her.  You see, she got a "C" on her report card--in art. The "C" was the lowest grade my Junior High self had ever received. Mom and Dad assured her they would still love her, and to do the best she could.  Art class, was twelve root canals at one time to me. I never took any art after Junior High...none, nada. Then 2013 came 'round, and more specifically 2015, which brings us up to 2018. I will tell you those moments as time goes on.

In the meantime, it feel good to be back.  I plan to post as often as I can and look forward to chatting with you!  I just had wanted to get this first post on the books! ....and as I close, here here is a sampling of some of my art work--I LOVE abstracts--there is no right nor wrong!
Until next time....make sure you say your prayers and get some ice cream!


LL





Sunday, May 10, 2015

A Daughter WithOut Mom on Mother's Day

To avoid the greeting card aisle filled with nothing but Mother’s Day cards, rivaled my loveless affair with liver and onions. Even as I zoomed past cards, I swear the words, “To My Dear Mother,” screamed after  me.  As people picked out the most perfect Mother’s Day card, envy, not blood, flowed through my veins.

Did these people know how blessed they were?

My mother died from yellow liver atrophy almost three months to the day after elective  surgery. Mom was forty-three years old and I just thirteen. Death robbed Mom of her life. Death robbed me from a life of having a mother.  In a blink of an eye, the new normal became my dad and me.  Even at thirteen years old, I wondered how we would survive. Mom never hesitated to spank me, yet I would endure thousands spanks a day, if God would bring her back.

My simple ice cream filled world melted. No more Mom and me, ‘girls only’ nights when Dad worked late. Mom  drove as far as time and ice cream took us. We sang, mostly off key, to songs blasted from the car radio.  No more would I watch Mom put on eyeshadow and wonder if I would ever be as pretty. Her death made Mother’s Day became just another Sunday without football.

For twenty years, I let mom’s death become the blame for my stumbles. My confidence waned as I doubted my self worth. Mom had my first and best cheerleader. She was my nurturer and strongest female I knew.  And now my mother was gone.

Even though life moved on,  I so lagged behind.  Somehow I had to deal and learn from her death, because I wanted to live my own.  I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of not being able to change the past. I had to embrace her death and move on.  I went to the bible and God’s Word opened my mind with Psalms 121 (NIV): “I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?”

No longer, do  I avoid the Mother’s Day card aisle.  Like everyone else, I hunt for the perfect card.  How can I not show thanks to the woman who said at the end of each day with “Mama love”?  As  we savored
ice cream, this woman explained  how  a girl’s bloom into a young lady should not be scary, yet celebrated.  So I  smile with memories abound and sign my chosen Mother’s Day card. It is then tucked away with the others.

Although our life together was just thirteen years, that life was more valuable than rubies. My mother’s spirit dances within me every second, every minute of  every day. I am truly blessed.  I know  we’ll see each other again. Our laughter and songs will once again  fill the air, with some ice cream for good measure. Praise God.

(c)2015

PS. And the photo is my mom and me :)
#Mother's Day

Monday, January 6, 2014

On the 6th Day

I tried to pull up carpet. By myself. Well, cut up one piece at a time.  How'd I do?

Failed--with a capital F.

OK, caught a YouTube video of a young lady cutting up her carpet. Her, dogs had done doggy stuff on the carpet--and just had to come up.

I could relate because cats rule my chateau--they've been ill or their litter box wasn't to their liking, and beside the carpet, which was in the house when I bought it in 2008,  was a light color I never liked--ya know, the carpet showed everything!  :( So up it has to come.

Underneath there is some orangish reddish tile with dark freckles. I'm sure it was a really hot pattern...once, in some previous century...Yet, the more I gandered at it--one of my rooms, where my desktop PC resides, is not carpeted. This tile (or is it linoleum?)  is throughout  the room. Honestly, I thought the tile could be something I would buy. Why? Because the color is different, and I like different.

The orangish reddish color would be pretty all shined up, with color compliments on walls, pillows-yea, even if took me forever to cut up the carpet, I would be empowered, I got giddy and would have been giddy-er--only if the...

CORRECT carpet cutting knife was in my possession. I bought a cheapy one, OK, I spent a dollar on it. Yes, a buck.  Roll your eyes. Reprimand me. Take away my Skippy's Natural Honey Roasted Peanut Butter. In my moment the surge to be empowered..

My buck utility knife marked just a line in the carpet I know so want gone. Pressed down, hard. Nothing,  but a line. A cat thought the line in the carpet was fun to bat.

At least the cat was thrilled.

Stay tuned.


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

....and it begins!

Psalm 20:4-5

New Century Version (NCV)

May he give you what you want
    and make all your plans succeed,

and we will shout for joy when you succeed,
    and we will raise a flag in the name of our God.
May the Lord give you all that you ask for.

Start up your engines!

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

As 2013 Year Ends..

2013-2014-blue-Fotolia_572147331.jpg (405×213)
Remember the hullabaloo of what Y2K would do to all mankind? 
A friend recently fessed up how she and her husband made provisions in their home, just in case something DID happen!
Now we are ready to step 14 years into the 21st century- those same
friends made provisions to stay home tonight with their kitties.
And me?
Headed to Inspiring Body of Christ Church, as I've done the last 
few New Year's Eve for a Word,  music which is almost
like being a Earth, Wind and Fire concert without the 
booze, and about 4000 of my closest and dearest friends :)
Let's get this 2014 party started!


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Sweet Sugar Smile

 A memory from jammin' to this tune at a 7th grade dance. Thought I was sizzlin' in my plaid culottes.... :) yet, jealous because my BFF got to actually hold HANDS with a boy!

Glass Vase Blues....

Glass vase bought at one of my fave thrift stores
Cover with two different Martha Stewart
Blue gloss glass paints, and dotted with
Martha Stewart Pearl white glass paint.
Vase placed in a cold oven that was
Then set 350 degrees and baked for 30 minutes
Cool the vase in the oven for at least an hour
Before you handle. 

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

July 9, 1928 was Monday

...and the day my mom was born. I wonder what my grandmother--my mom's mother-thought when she held her new baby girl in her arms. Sad to know I outlived both my mom and my grandmother. 
My mom was a discinplinarian. Yep--Mom could spank--and spank REAL good--yet I never once doubted her love for me. She called me her "Angel."

Lots of life lessons missed since Mom and I were on Earth together for just a little while. However, I do smile when I think of us getting ice cream at our town's version of a Dairy Queen, then drive all over who knows where in that old blue Chevy Mom named Daisy June. 

We'd sing to songs on the radio, laugh and have our 'girl talk time.' I hate the fact my mother died when I was barely into my teens.  I try to remember eventho our time was not long, what we had lasts a lifetime. 

I am blessed. 

Happy Birthday, Mommy.

Monday, July 1, 2013

First Morning of July

Was unusually cool for Dallas.
To open a window in July--well, is pretty unheard of--except for today. As I got ready for work, two Tuxies, who are brother and sister, took full advantage of the cool down:

.....and tomorrow morning may be even better! Stay tuned. 

Friday, June 28, 2013

Friday Take On

Such an adventure to hold conversations with a man born in 1985.  

My life is their history. In 1985, Live Aid was on MTV--which I think still played only music videos. He has never known life without a computer or cell phone. Gasoline has always been over a dollar. Never known vinyl, unless his parents played some of their "old school" music.

When  look at him, I see a grown man, yet I see a kid who was born when I was out trippin' the light fantastic. By 1985, I moved back to my hometown for the THIRD time.  For whatever reason I wasn't quite making it on my own and my Ramen Noodles had done me in. While he was new to the world, wrapped in love with his parents.

Then I see the grown man again. And I wonder why in the world didn't they look like him when I was 28??? 

1042 Days

Yes, 1042 is the number of days since my last post. I never intended fore such an hiatus from something I did enjoy quite a bit. I do reme...