September 29, 1998 a Memory Made

Today I sat at work and it hit me how on this day, back in '98, I met Bear. I even smile to this day. We had alot more downs than up. I admit, there are times I did wish we could do a 'do over'--yet it finally did hit me: the the past is the past, and it can't be changed.

Too bad at times.

Bear was, and still is a handsome guy. I think more now than when I met him those 12 years ago. Our season wasn't to be what I wanted: together, married and kids. It became more instead to plant seeds in each other. It took me a long time to be OK with knowing someone else may reap that harvest from the seeds I planted.

I wonder if Bear thinks the same of me?

For a while we drifted in and out of each other's life, while dancing with others. We just seem to always float back to one another. Never really could make it stick. Blamed each other for our mess up. Then enough was finally enough. The cycle had to finally be broken. We both had to grow up and away.

Can't do over.

Yet, some memories do still make me smile.

And for that: Happy Anniversary.

Another Day

That's what today is. However it's a Tuesday and I'm taking a one night breather from school. I am gonna jump on next week's assignments tomorrow--the writing part, mainly. I plan to read some stuff tonight. I printed it off so not to be glued to the PC. I am just too old school to read more than a few paragraphs on the PC. Give me a handful of book or papers and I am set.

I'm in a TV and movie kinda mode. Does anybody watch "True Blood" on HBO? Am I missing something? I don't have HBO, for one--however I know the DVD's are available. Then "Toy Story" comes out this week. At first, I wasn't gonna both--then I heard the voice of Tom Hanks just one too many times---so...could be my treat for the weekend.

And gave a thought to past relationships. How in a way I miss the relationship and not quite the person. Is that wrong? I ponder about a man who still lives in Chicago--the only man I was ever with and looked at a "BRIDES" magazine. I just knew! He adored me. I wish that could have been enough. Was I too much for him? Probably. I realize as I've aged, I was pretty much too much for most men. They said I expected too much from them.

Really?

At the time, I didn't realize they didn't expect much of themselves.

Blue Bell Vanilla Cookies n Cream Ice Cream awaits.