Sum Up Sunday

Another view of part of my back yard. The wind does waltz with the leaves. And I like it.

It's Sunday. I went to IBOC--my HOME church as of last week. I still can't get over it I joined. Especially since the church I called Home for 5 1/2 years, before I ventured to IBOC, I never officially joined, even tho I was involved in things--like the co-head of the Singles Ministry and even taught my first adult Sunday School class--didn't know what I was talking about--but I did it. However, I never officially joined.

And now I have: Inspiring Body of Christ Church. I sat by an empty seat that had someone's purse and such there. In a few moments the woman came back--it was the SAME woman, who nudged me last week about joining. Things don't just happen. They happen for a reason. We had a good chat.

The main thing, Pastor Rickie Rush said when folks ask what we we did this weekend we oughta tell em we praised Jesus. Not what is usually heard. I chuckle cause folks who have known me since MTV were just letters in the alphabet, really don't get my Praise. I've learned to expect that. And it's OK--these folks continue to be blessings in my life.

In the meantime, the sun has gone down on this Sunday. Finished a college paper--I doNOT like writing non-fiction. Got a cat to pet, ice cream to eat and pages of Screenwriting for Dummies to fumble through.

I am blessed.

Easter

From my cluttered, cat filed yet cozy home-

I wish you and yours a day

Of Reflection and Resurrection..

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And for your chuckle pleasure: Yours truly from an Easter Past

Sure hope I got a gi-normous chocolate bunny to wear this outfit!

Thomasina****

Christmas Day Still

Made it church this morning. A bit late, due to the still slick spots on highways and byways of Dallas. Passed a ravine with 6 cars resting it, plus a wreck with 3 cars, not including the police car and an ambulance passed me. Oh, and there was the pick-up that got caught on my ice and tried to slide into my lane. Got back in control tho. All in all, Pastor Rickie Rush, of Inspiring Body of Christ Church, held the 10am service at 10:45, just to give folks more time to get there. My usual 20 minute or so drive, took me about 45, so I was grateful. Pastor Rush didn't keep us long because he said folks wanted to get on with their own celebrations. I can admire him for that.

Pastor Rush said there were people there, who needed explanation why their Christmases and other parts of life are what they are and not what they want (which is like me.). Pastor Rush used John 14:6. All things must go thru Jesus. And maybe where you're at now is where you need to be before you get to the place He has for you. He gave you a gift. And to learn how to use that gift for His Glory needs to some attention. Made me ponder.

I also followed my Christmas Tradition of going to a movie. This year: "It's Complicated" with Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. Just have to love those three. What can Meryl NOT do? Can Alec be anymore smarmy, yet lovable? And Steve--just wanted to take him home for chocolate croissants. Sure, there were some parts made the movie longer than it shoulda been, although I still believe "It's Complicated" is in the "It's Marvelous" category! Loved to see a movie with my demographic in the lead and not so Lifetime Movie where somebody dies. I give it three and a half croissants, plus a cup of coffee.

I later sat on park bench swing, feed ducks--some greedy ones took the bread right from my hand, swung back and forth, and pondered a time of year, I still so good about--Even tho I wish some things were different. I remember all this is temporary and 2010 is 'round the corner. New adventures do await and that excites me! He's brought me so far, in situations I never thought I'd ever have listed on my life's resume and He has yet to leave me.

In the meantime, it is Christmas Day Still and more I need to enjoy.

Merry Christmas and You are blessed.

Christmas Eve 2009

And this picture is the view from my front door here in Dallas. Just like Iowa--almost. :)

On this day of all days, as I always do, I recall the spirit of Christmas Eve Past. Especially when I was a kid and didn't know my parents 'helped' Santa out during this night. Just could never get why they seemed to be so tired on Christmas Morn and why sometimes the milk I left out for Santa would smell like that funny stuff my dad drank: SCOTCH.

Or that first Christmas after my mom's death three months prior. It was iffy Dad and I would have any kind of celebration. Both weren't feeling it. Then I remember one day, Dad pulled the King Edward Cigar from his mouth and said, "Dammit, we're having Christmas." The next thing I knew, we had a tree and goodies under it. It wasn't the same, yet it was. The next Christmas Eve, I woke up to a beautiful piano in my house. Dad was shining it up. I hadn't heard anything, when it was delivered that morning. I still have it with me on this Eve.

Or the Christmas Eve, my boyfriend at the time--we'll call him Comic Book, due to his love for them, especially Superman, and Thor--and etc. Anyway, it was our first Christmas and we'd dated pretty much all year. Since his family, which we was not that close to, was in Louisiana, I invited him to my parents house. Our relationship was shakier than the Titanic when it met that iceberg, however on this night, Comic Book was a true little boy as he realized some of the presents under the tree--for HIM. He'd never really had such a thing. Considering my dad could NOT stand Comic Book, the gesture was grand.

Or the Christmas Eve I drove to Iowa from Dallas when I had sinus stuff, plus pain from my sciatic nerve. I'd already put off the trip a couple of days because I was miserable. Dad called me the night of Dec. 23, to check on me. I was stuffy and lie flat on my back to ease the sciatic nerve pain. Dad suggested--quite firmly-maybe I shouldn't come and plus the weather, blah, blah, blah. Of course, I blurted out, "It's Christmas!" Dad tried to sugar coat it how I could come back later in the year--when it was nicer. Then Dad, being the man he was said, "Well, you're gonna do whatever you want to do anyway." So on Christmas Eve morn, I didn't leave as early as I wanted to-still ached and sneezed. However I piled my stuff, desktop computer, two cats and me and up I-35 for a 750 mile trip, I went. Arrived around 9pm Christmas Eve night. Dad said I was his best Christmas present. And he mine. That was our last Christmas Eve together.

So on Christmas Eve 2009. I'm not back in Iowa, eventho friends opened their homes to me in Iowa and in Dallas. Earlier this morning, a chum was at the airport to fly to his parents' home. He'd text'd how there was a delay, so he sat. I called him at 7:15am and coughed and sneezed from sinus stuff and frog voice. We chatted until he got on the plane. Later he text'd his arrival was safe and sound.

Although both my parents are gone, I realize on Christmas Eve 2009. their spirits warm this house.

Some things aren't the same, yet they still are.

I am blessed.

Acquire Sunday

Just a quick couple things on this rain soaked Sunday.

First, Pastor Rickie Rush, of the Inspiring Body of Christ Church, brought it all home in today's message. How the sciptures tells us how God will give us our heart's desires, however our problem is we may not how to speak that desire. Pastor Rush told the weapons to fight Satan: The Word, Faith, In the Name of Jesus, and Prayer. At one point, Pastor Rush asked us to open our umbrellas--this was to show how we covered with the anointing. And at the end of service, to prove the point, Pastor Rush held an open umbrella, a set of keys, bottle of vitamins and a bible. Trust me, it all worked! As I've mentioned, more than once, Pastor Rickie Rush has been an acquired taste. Maybe I finally get it.

As I first walked into the sanctuary there was Bear, who stood with the other ushers. Gotta admit Bear surprised me and once again, I didn't recognize him. Tickles me how back in the day, my radar would be way up to find HIM. Now, no matter how big that church is, Bear seems to find me. We hugged and chatted for a minute. Bear had a -put on your sunglasses blind you kind of smile. Quite nice to witness on a dreary, rain soaked day. As Pastor Rush spoke us not telling God what we wanted and just went out and got it anyway, I thought of Bear. How, in our past, I so pushed and yanked for the relationship I wanted with him. Did that ALOT. Never gave God a thought-then.

Acquired taste indeed.

Now it's on to the Gospel of the Gridiron--Dallas Cowboys and the Denver Broncos. Had a great day at the church house-so I pray the Cowboys can bring another victory. Play like they mean it and bring on the win in the Broncos' Bungalow. Go Boyz!

I am blessed.

September 27 1971 was Monday

..and the day I became a motherless daughter.

I cried in Dad's arms five times and probably at least another five times by myself. At one point, during that longest day ever, I stretched myself on Mom's side of their bed, where she'd been just three days prior. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted her to come back. I didn't know how sick Mom was or maybe I did and just in teenage denial.

On this day in 2009, Pastor Rickie Rush, of the Inspiring Body of Christ Church, spoke of shame. How things of your past are great canidates for shame. How Satan reminds you of these things and tell you how you're not worthy. The shame occurs when you believe the words Satan's spews. Yes, you will always have struggles as you journey to your blessings, that's where Satan's really wants to latch on, so you can fail. God wants to see how you react. If you can handle what HE has instore for you.

After Mom died, I felt so unworthy of many things. I trace alot, if not all, back to that 1971 day. As an adult, I realized when I was a kid, didn't think I was as special as somebody with a Mom. My Dad adored me, as did the rest of my family, but I wonder since I missed out on something--was I worthy enough? Satan had a grip on me. I know that now. I felt shame over my Mom's death. I carried guilt that I could have prevented it--if I just opened my mouth.

Mom wanted to have weight loss surgery. She wasn't a Half Ton Mom, like you see on TV, far from it. Yet she wanted it, to escape her 300 pounds yo-yo dieting, especially due to the success her sister and my 17 year old cousin seemed to have. On a June day, the doctor gave the final OK for surgery. Mom was euphoric. Mom held me close as she nearly skipped with joy from the doctor's office. Mom shouted how this time next year, how thin she would be.

A boulder slammed in the bottom of my stomach. I wanted to scream "NO! Don't do it!" But I didn't.

Three months later, after several complications, Mom died of yellow liver atrophy.

Our family doctor told me he advised Mom not to have it. My dad told me over and over, how Mom wanted this surgery and it didn't matter what anybody said. Dad, also said through the years, to not to feel guilty--how Mom wouldn't want me to. That's alittle easier said than done.

In service today, Pastor Rush said how words from those that are suppose to love you causes shame too. Explains alot. Especially when my step-mother would inform me how I didn't quite measure up to being the best daughter or that a man would want me because I didn't cook enough. After Mom died, I so longed for a mother figure. I settled for hurtful words to get what I thought I wanted.

I didn't wait for God to work it out, as Pastor Rush said. God had to put me in quarantine as He did His work on me. I skipped that step--ALOT, and tried to do it myself. In those cases, Satan roasted his marshmallows and had a good time. I know that now.

I'm not perfect, yet I see things more clearly now. I try to remember more memories of Mom---the good and the bad (she could spank in blink of an eye!). I was 13 when she died on this day in 1971. I think of how hard it was for Dad to wake his daughter and tell her Mommy was gone. So much we missed out on--our entire family.

Yet, I realize I am worthy. I always have been. God waited patiently for me to get there, even tho I wasn't so patient on myself. I still make mistakes. Sometimes I hear Satan whisper in my ear, but I don't hear him as much as I do. The beauty of being born with no left ear (microtia) so I turn to my left and all I 'hear' is hot air.

I celebrate Mom's life and continue with the dance our spirits still do today.

I am blessed.

To Say

Just remember what the Word says.

Today is the day the Lord has made-rejoice and be glad in it. Hey, I know things kinda--well, suck--yet we keep on going. Builds character. Gain strength. Put trust and faith in the One who knows.

He even says to promise to give Him all our troubles. He will rescue us and all we gotta do is give Him glory.

Easier to say. It must be done.

He didn't bring us this far to leave us.

Felt like to preach a little. Felt pretty darn good.

We are blessed.

Confirmation

Pastor Rickie Rush, of Inspiring Body of Christ Church, preached a GREAT sermon today. He spoke words I needed to hear again. About success and the kind of person you are.

Success takes time, patience (which I'm not great at) trust and lots of faith. To look unto the hills to see where my help comes from. Hard to do. Yet oh so very true. Success ain't easy--yet can be done. In His time.

And the kind of person you are--just look around at your friends. Really look. Do they run with the chickens or do they soar with the eagles? Granted you love them. And they love you. They've seen YOUR light and were drawn to you. However, do they drain you? Or do they want to soar as high as you do? Or would they rather pet their own backs and say 'tsk-tsk'? I prefer to soar like an eagle.

Eagles are also solitary. What's hard for me at times, is some of my friends won't come along for the ride. They prefer to wave--maybe, that is if they don't tell me what I can or can't do . I know I'll just send them a postcard.

Confirmation today. Indeed. To look to the place where my help does come from.

I am blessed.

Sunday....

It's about 4 pm. A cat is in the window. One of them anyway....my a/c just came on. A taste of what summer will be here in Texas. You would think I'd know by now.

Today has been glorious day. This morning, I headed to church and got my Praise on. Pastor preached from Acts 4. Good, Good stuff.

Even in the midst of my troubles, I am joyful. What more can I say?

In the name of Jesus.

Amen.