My Dad

has a birthday today. 
Yes, indeed. It is his 88th birthday. I wonder how Daddy would be, if he still walked this earth. My guess Dad would still charm the ladies, as he did the nurses during his hospital stays. The nurses would tell me how Dad would just talk and talk about me.
The picture here, during my spandex legging stage, with black Reeboks tennis shoes, was snapped sometime in the early 90's. Before diabetes grabbed hold of Dad and wrestled him down one too many times. Before the one time Dad's eye sight was  robbed and his heart could no longer keep pace. 
Just before.
 Daddy was my heart, and I was his life--his 'prettiest girl' he'd say.
My eyes water as I miss our times on that stoop, and Dad's cigar smoke tickles my nose.  When I'd come back to Dallas, after am Iowa trip home and open my suitcase, all my clean clothes (which Dad usually folded!) smelled of his King Edward cigar. And  I would smile. 
To remember and savor that scent--one more time--just to know Daddy was near-
Makes me smile. .

October 18, 2001 was Thursday

....and the day a man who loved me more than life went Home. My sweet Big Daddy Don battled diabetes like the warrior he was, yet the filthy disease wound up with the victory of the war...

I know Dad would get such a kick from this terra cotta pot thing I am doing. I can see him now-With his King Edward cigar secured in his mouth, Dad would inspect the pot. Cigar smoke circling the pot. Then he'd do his nod and "hmm-mm" of approval. He'd ask me about them and say the pots were pretty. Of course, Dad would then sit the pot on the end table by his chair. We'd get to watching some TV, probably Andy Griffith Show and Dad would need to flick off the ashes from this cigar...into guess what? Yep. My pot! I'd yell, "Dad!" He'd get his eyes all big, and shrugged his gentle giant shoulders and go, "Well, ain't it a ashtray?" We would both laugh. I laugh even now just with the thought of it.

Ten years today. A decade. Where has the time gone? I miss my dad. Sometimes I swear I can smell that cigar smoke in this house. I know my sweet daddy's spirit lifts me up ti this day.

...and I wouldn't want it any other way. I am blessed.

Relationships III

Things come in 3's, the word is. So it's 3 posts on relationships--for now.

I've slept on and thought of my emotions from yesterday. Pretty dag gum deep for me. I didn't share with anyone, even my BFF, what I felt yesterday--until today. Then I didn't go into a lot of detail, just more the hi-lights of it.

Why? Because she's lady, we'll call her Dunne, who has uplifted me about my small business ideas, from selling' pies to cat lovers things. We hadn't chatted lately until now. I told about the 'Dream Big" my pastor Rickie Rush preached and how I thought of her of her Big Dream. You see, Dunne has a picture of her dream house (more like a mansion)on her cubical wall. She told me God has it all worked out and coulda been waiting for her to take a step. We both said you have to speak what you want to will it. If you just have a thought--it's just that--a thought. Words make it so.

I told Dunne how you never know where angels are going to be. Dunne said how MLG was an angel to show me anything is possible--it's not too late to do your passions. OK, I'm giving you just hi-lights, however the chat with Dunne was free and easy, even tho we met in April, and hadn't spoken since June. We laughed like we would over coffee at Starbucks, except we stood by the sinks in the women's restroom, at our jobs.

I remember when my My Sweet Big Daddy Don passed away in 2001, I felt so lonely. Both of my parents were now gone and I was an adult orphan. Loneliness consumed. Sure, I knew people, but the weekends were the darkest days of my week even the sun's beams blinded. I'd sit on my couch and realize the 'friends' I had were no even close to being there for me as I was for them. I cried alot.

I wasn't much into in my Spiritual Walk in 2001 (the beginning was still two years away) yet I asked God would there ever be a day I'd have good friends. Friends that I could count on. Friends who "get me" and we would laugh at the same thing with just once glance at each other.

The chat with Dunne showed me relationships are not 'one size fits' all. .

The day I cried for is here.

Thank God.

I am blessed.