5 Years Ago Today

The last words I heard were "Put her out."

My chest was cracked open.

Machines pumped life thru ny body as I slept

My heart had to be stopped and

"Readjusted" so the surgeon could go behind and inside it

To replace my mitral valve, which I never knew existed until 2 weeks prior...

Work was done and heart jumpstarted

In recovery, I woke up sooner than expected-

Imagine that

They had to hunt down the surgeon to

OK the tube removed from my throat

In ICU, I was shot up with painkillers

Doozed in/out, mainly out

As "American Idol" was played on TV

Open-heart surgery 5 years ago today-

Will never stop talking about it

Death was the alternative

He had other plans.

4 days later the doctor said I could go home.

On this day, in 2011, I marvel at the

Birds in my yard and new blooms

Simple things. Great things.

5 years ago, I wondered how

Different my life would be

....and I am still in discovery-

I am blessed.

Thursday Tired

Did a 10 hour day for some OT today. My mind is fried. My boss is attractive, yet I realize it's best to just let him talk, even when there is to be an open door to his office. Not much empathy. We do have a relationship to laugh and such, so my facial expressions, which I'm famous for, come into play for fun--I've realized I've overdone. He tells me today he's trying to read my facial expressions, to figure me out. I told him: "Just ask." So my facial expressions will be at a minimum. Oh well.

I so need to catch up on here. Missed a couple birthdays on May 26th, which I must talk about.

I am tired.

And to think about the paper due Saturday--which I might actually enjoy--is a tomorrow thing. I had to interview someone in a human services facility and a couple classmates, let me send them questions....GRAND!

So I'm tired--which I've repeated.

We'll catch up later.

Promise.

Wonder

Why you just can't wake up and pounds can be gone from your body? The exercise and less food are working. In fact, during lunch yesterday one of my co-workers asked if my 'rabbit food' would satisfy me. Too funny. I munched on a Healthy Choice meal. Sure, it wasn't all pasta, garlic bread and tiramisu--yet it was good.

To lose weight is like when you gain weight--it doesn't happen over night. I try to not be angry at myself that it happened at all. When I lost all those 70 lbs in 2006--I just KNEW it wasn't coming back. I loved swimming in my clothes. I knew I would always be a full figured girl, but being a healthier full figured girl was my goal.

And I stuck to it until I realized I had to start this new chapter.

Stay tuned.