December 18, 1979 was Tuesday

That day was a decision day of sorts, my diary says. Back then I wrote in my diary everyday. It's something to go back and read about your life in ago time. On this day, I stayed home from work. I had pondered my decision for a few days--and thought I made the right one.

And doesn't it tick you off as years clicked by like the seconds hand on a clock, the decision should have gone the other way? Perhaps really to turn to the right when you decided to go left? How life would have been if you'd changed your mind--at the last minute.

Too bad we don't have a FF button just for life when we make decisions--just to get a gander how things may have turned out. Or three ghosts visit you thru the night to give you a little show how life was, is and could possibly be.

I do remember being so concerned about Christmas--exactly a week away, that 18th Day of Dec in 1979. The pile under the tree at my dad's house, was looking quite bountiful. We had a turquoise flocked Christmas tree too--gorgeous. My dad was so eager for me to open my presents that Christmas. I was too--even tho I was a little bittersweet.

I didn't share my decision with my dad, which wasn't unusual. He always said "you're gonna do what you want anyway." Ahh, the dad knew his daughter well. So I never told him. Kinda wish I had though. He may have given me some much needed input. I didn't give him the opportunity. I might have decided to actually turn right, when I thought left looked better and easier.

Decisions are something. You want them to be right. It's funny how you go through life and recall the ones that made such impacts. Wisdom in our 20's isn't what it will be years later...

Life--a journey which we just get one crack at.

December Kinda Like

Christmas.

The temp is at freezing. No snow. Some folks have lights on their homes. Alas, I don't. Though I smile at the memory of Dad stringing up the lights. And the years of our flocked turquoise Christmas trees. Trust me it worked!

So since it's almost Christmas and I'm thrilled it's Friday too boot--I will cue up one my favorite songs by the late, great Luther Vandross. My eyes still mist up as Luther tell me about Christmas Time. Wonderful, wonderful song.

Reminds me how much I miss Luther.

Tis the Day

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Evergreen Evermore

Realized today this Christmas season will a bit harder than most. My guess is because of buying this house. And it reminds me the last time I spent Christmas with someone who had my heart. The house I called "home" was in Iowa and the year was 2000. The last Christmas I spent with Dad.

By Christmas 2001, Dad had been buried two months. I was in that Iowa house for the final time. It wasn't the same. His gawdugly orange lounge chair set untouched. No cigar butts in the ashtray. No tree or lights. Just wasn't the same. My kitten, Perry, who had shown up right about the day of Dad's funeral romped through the house. I always believed my parents sent Perry to help in the grief.

So today, I'm out and about and walk through Christmas trees set outside a grocery store. Their scent hit me and immediately thought of Dad. Got a bit weepy. I didn't feel this way in years past. I guess, my apartment seemed so temporary. But the house. It's more planted. I realize crying as I strolled down the frozen food aisle wasn't a good idea, so I buckled up.

I remembered one Christmas where I was to bring our turquoise flocked Christmas tree from Des Moines. We were so into flocked trees! Strapped securely in my trunk by the tree guy. No worries until about about 7 miles out of my hometown, my car dies. I can't remember why, considering rust seemed to hold it together, heaven only knows.

What I do remember, is a mom and her daughter stopped to help me. They were on there way into my hometown to shop. I was grateful they stopped so soon after my car died. This was Iowa in December after all. Cold and snow abound. We got the tree out from my car and into their trunk. Or so we thought.

I settled into the backseat for the few minutes of ride. Something told me turn around. I sat speechless as my turquoise flocked Christmas tree rolled down the highway. Away from these kind strangers' car! This was a four lane road, and thank heavens nobody was going either way. We made a U-turn, got my tree and made it home safe and sound.

Memories like that will get them through this holiday. Hmm. I may get a artificial tree, so I won't feel THAT bad if a cat pulls it down.

I know I am blessed.