October 18, 2001 was Thursday

And the day Dad died. Seems just like yesterday, while other days it does seem like years ago. I miss my dad. Alot. When I'd say stuff like that Dad would say "You're just a big ol' baby." And I would respond, "Yes, I am. YOURS." If back in my hometown, a hug would follow.

Also, yesterday, while I watched the Iowa Hawkeyes beat the Wisconsin Badgers, I swear I smelled the smoke from Dad's King Edward cigar in the room. Even now I smile as our matching Iowa Hawkeye jackets still hang, side by side, in my closet.

On this day, in 2009, Pastor Rickie Rush, of Inspiring Body of Christ Church, spoke how our storms are like lemonade. We journey through the bitter to get to the sweet. That's how I view Dad's death. I realized how he suffered. The diabetes dictated an amputation below the knee on one leg in 1997. The beginning of the end. During Dad's rehab, a clot formed behind his eye and his sight was quite not the same. Dad could see, yet for him it wasn't good enough. I saw his confidence sink. In July 2001, Dad went blind and doctors said no hope for sight to be regained. Dad was moved to a nursing home in our home town to start rehab, so he may one day go home and fend for himself. Then on October 18, 2001, Dad went to sleep for the final time. I always believed Dad knew. He'd had enough. In fact, the staff, went to wake him for a doctor's appointment and he was gone.

Dad's death was/is bitter to me. I became an adult orphan that day. The sweet side is Dad joined my mom in heaven. In fact, his funeral wound up being their 47th wedding anniversary. I mentioned it in my eulogy to him. Also, Dad need not suffer anymore and can sit on any cloud with my mom--just as it should be. With a death, something begins to live--and that was something sweet I've had to adjust to. I know Dad didn't want to leave me, yet he knew I had to start living. He'd had enough.

When Dad passed, his sight regained and could see as far as his eyes could see. My daddy watches over me every single day. And there are those times the King Edwards cigar smoke tickles my nose.

I am blessed.