Showing posts with label fatherloss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fatherloss. Show all posts

Friday, July 9, 2010

My Mom's Birthday

Today Mom turns 82 years old. If she walked this Earth, I imagine
To tease her with a cake too small to hold 82 candles-
If I listen I can surely hear Mom laugh.
My dad would be quite the feisty 86 years young, and
I see them, side by side on the river bank-
Perhaps with my 94 year old uncle I visited the other day--
Fishin' and talkin about the 'old days'.
My 'old days' with my mom lasted just 13 years.
It's funny how my memories aren't as vivid as they once were-
Time has passed so.
I want to remember more.
I want to just be the daughter to make a mother proud...
Happy Birthday, Mama--
Thank you for giving me this life--
I love and so very much miss you.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Like Before

Horses, a dog, corn fields and my orange car. Iowa. Screams IOWA, huh? You may need to click on it, to biggify it. Well, maybe all except the orange car aka my Pumpkin. This was snapped at a chum's house. They have 5 acres of mowable yard, the rest somebody farms on. They live on a gravel road. I'd forgotten how tricky gravel can be--if you go a bit too fast--trust me.

Iowa. This is the first visit, since my dad's passing in 2001, that the visit home felt different. It felt good. See, even tho Iowa was my home, I had no home to go to. My dad wasn't there to great me with his infamous King Edward cigar in his mouth. Would be an emotional roller coaster, the few times I did go back to Iowa. A classmate, who lives in Iowa, still says it's sometimes hard for her to come to our hometown, because her parents are gone too. I thought I was alone--yet more and more adult children, more so those who have moved away, experience this. I still have friends and other family---however it just wasn't the same.

This trip tho--I didn't feel all the emotion. Sure, I cried when I headed out to the cemetery to see my parents' graves. I told them I still wanted to make them so proud. Outside of that--I felt closure. All was OK.

In fact, I had the BEST time in Iowa, I'd had in a long, long time. I was asked if I would ever move back. I don't know. Being there, did feel right. Maybe because all the classmates, back for the reunion, knew me 'before'. Knew me from the first. And I liked that.

Lots to ponder as I drove south on I-35 and smiled when I finally saw this sign:

Would I move back? No clue.
I do know, I have lunch tomorrow with a classmate who's lived in Dallas, maybe just a bit longer than I have. We hadn't seen each other in a few years until this past weekend. Sadly he's now a widower. Our Saturday night chat was filled with sweetness, fun, and laughs.
Just like I remember.

Just like before.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day 2010

As I write this, Father's Day 2010 ticks to done for another year.
I miss my Dad.
Our last Father's Day together was 2001.
Dad would laugh today when I'd tell him we all wore cowboy gear to church--now Cowboy Football gear. Nope, COWBOY as out on the prairie cowboy gear. Guys on horse back, as well as stagecoaches, were in the parking lot. The pulpit was decorated with hay and a little tiny pony, a donkey, a cute llama would peek his head out ever now and then, plus bunnies and baby piggies and alot of root-tootin' fun. And yes, my pastor Rickie Rush, of Inspiring Body of Christ Church brought the Word too. Me, myself I work a black cowboy hat which was solid investment of 99 cents at the GoodWill. Got compliments on it, even tho I think I look liked I robbed a stagecoach.
Yep, Dad would laugh and chew on that infamous King Edward cigar.
So as this Father Day ends
I'll curl in bed
And realize our days do still begin-
Then I smile.

Monday, May 17, 2010

..and my Dad

Has his 86th Birthday today. If Big Daddy Don still walked this Earth, I'm sure he'd slide a little Johnny Walker Red Scotch into his glass of skim milk. Yea, Daddy liked him some scotch--said the milk helped his ulcer! I recall he let me sample his beverage of choice. I spit it out. It tasted like burnt wood. Dad laughed and I swore never again. Somehow I bet, Daddy found a way to get some scotch into Heaven...

A year ago, I posted about Dad's birthday and have some pictures. Click here for a look see.

On this day, I smile as I think of Daddy as his King Edward cigar dangles from his mouth--this is even as I run to him as he walks from work. Daddy would pick me up and twirl me around. And then that cigar would be there as he waited for me to pull up in the driveway from my 750 mile trip from Dallas. He only took the cigar out when he hugged me tight. I was where I wanted to be.


I miss those times.
I miss you, Daddy

Thoughts of Past Loves

The Holidays are pretty much right here. Yep.  Especially since three Christmas movies, in the last three days, between Lifetime and Ha...