Nonetheless, I went to the sanctuary. Sat farther back than usual. Like close to the exit doors to be precise. I did not speak to anyone, I just smiled and nodded. Which looking back, seems ironic, because I knew a few people there. I tried to write out my check for offering. The numbers came out as large letters a child in kindergarten would muster "A" "C" "U". No numbers. I somehow managed to scribble my debit card number on the envelope after 3 tries to write out a check.
I still stay, even tho I couldn't say our devotional out loud. My mouth would not form the words. I made it thru the whole service, wondering why I was acting the way I was. I managed to walk the few steps to give my offering then I walked up the aisle and out the doors. Walked to my car, drove to the grocery store and got what I needed. Once home, I put away my groceries and I was too tired to get on the Internet (my PC was dial up then, so that could have been part of the problem :) I just lie on my bed all day and watched TV. Did not talk to anyone on the phone. Just pet my two cats.
And wondered if something had happened wrong enough I should go to the hospital.
In 2012, on this Sunday, I headed to my home church, Inspiring Body of Christ Church (IBOC) with Pastor Rickie Rush. I needed me some church today. Pastor Rush has taught from Exodus before, yet today I was touched more than I have been. Pastor spoke of Moses asking God why He had chosen Moses to lead. Moses said he himself was a slow speaker and not an eloquent speaker. God told Moses he would tell Moses what to say. All in all, Pastor Rush taught how God would use our weaknesses for His strength.
I believe that. Back in 2006, yes, something did happen wrong enough I went to the hospital the next day. A week went by in fear and wonder if my speech would ever be again with out slurs and skipping words in sentences. Would y speech be normal? Would people understand my words?
Since 2006, with my confidence being someone lack, my weakness has become my biggest strength for God's glory. Because of Him, people have complimented on my words and tone. . Some have urged me to speak more, while others want to know how I do it.
With God's goodness and mercy. I know no other way.
I am blessed.