That day was a decision day of sorts, my diary says. Back then I wrote in my diary everyday. It's something to go back and read about your life in ago time. On this day, I stayed home from work. I had pondered my decision for a few days--and thought I made the right one.
And doesn't it tick you off as years clicked by like the seconds hand on a clock, the decision should have gone the other way? Perhaps really to turn to the right when you decided to go left? How life would have been if you'd changed your mind--at the last minute.
Too bad we don't have a FF button just for life when we make decisions--just to get a gander how things may have turned out. Or three ghosts visit you thru the night to give you a little show how life was, is and could possibly be.
I do remember being so concerned about Christmas--exactly a week away, that 18th Day of Dec in 1979. The pile under the tree at my dad's house, was looking quite bountiful. We had a turquoise flocked Christmas tree too--gorgeous. My dad was so eager for me to open my presents that Christmas. I was too--even tho I was a little bittersweet.
I didn't share my decision with my dad, which wasn't unusual. He always said "you're gonna do what you want anyway." Ahh, the dad knew his daughter well. So I never told him. Kinda wish I had though. He may have given me some much needed input. I didn't give him the opportunity. I might have decided to actually turn right, when I thought left looked better and easier.
Decisions are something. You want them to be right. It's funny how you go through life and recall the ones that made such impacts. Wisdom in our 20's isn't what it will be years later...
Life--a journey which we just get one crack at.