"You have cats. No self-respecting Black man will want you because you have all those cats.’ This man told this more than once. He went on, “Would you give them up? The cats? If that was the only way you could keep the man?”I replied, “Cats stay. If I have to do that to keep the man-he’s not worth having.”
“What if he’s allergic? Or just hates them?
“He pops Benedryl and/or gets an allergy shot. If he hates them? Well, can’t help that. Except the cat is 10 pounds—not actual lion size. The cats stay.”
“That’s why you're alone. " he announced. “You pick cats over a man.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Nope. Always had pets. Always will have pets longer than I’ll have a man. Pets are the one thing I won’t let go of in this life. I love dogs, yet cats are my first choice of pet.”
He just shook his head. “You pick a cat over a man.”
“I compromise. In relationships, that’s what you do. Compromise. During my 20’s, and maybe even my early 30’s,” I explained, “I probably would have given up a cat. Heaven knows, back then, I gave up a lot of ME. Was afraid the man wouldn’t like what he saw and leave. That pesky little lack of self-confidence has vanished. Can't even see my 20’s or 30’s in the rear view mirror anymore. Astigmatism.”
He just stared.
“The whole package includes me," I continued, "with purr pals, and discreetly placed litter boxes. It’s all or nothing.”
He tilted his head. His eyes became slits.
Now, what if the guy brings something to the relationship that I hate?" I asked. "For instance there was a guy who had pet tarantulas. I do NOT do spiders, unless of course they're dead, but his weren't. Yet, they were his pets. They just had to stay in their glass house. You yourself, have a dog. What if I didn’t like dogs? And the dog and I didn’t get along? You’d get rid of him, right? To be with the woman you adore?”
Silence.
“Hmm. Yep didn’t think so. Why should a woman be expected to rid herself of something that’s special to her? When you won't even entertain the thought to give up your dog--- for love."
He blinked a few times and before he spoke, so I piped in. “Please don't say it's 'different'. I will always have pets. They stay. If the man and I are to be together, we’ll be together.”
He shook his head-as if I’d broken some 11th Commandment. “No self-respecting Black man will want you.”
“Then I’ll get one in another color.” I smiled. “Heard tell that men come in plethora of shades.” I winked at him. “Pretty much takes care of that, huh?”
No purr from him. Just a groan of disatisfaction.
4 comments:
well said!
You crack me up!
I just love you, girl. :)
Seriously? Someone actually said that to you? Sounds like they didn't have much respect for you. ick.
Yep, somebody said this to me. We had a slight crush on each other--but what makes it even the more sour, when I was home recuperating from my surgery--twice he left flowers on my doorstep--to cheer me up. Nice surprise.
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