Sunday, May 8, 2011

May 8, 2011 is Mother's Day

Mom and Me. We just started our lives together. We thought an entire life time was ahead of us. We did start our with lots of promise. Three months after weight loss surgery, because of complications, Mom died. She was 43, and I was just 13. Not quite the entire life time we thought we'd have. Since then, Mother's Day has not always been rose petals, kisses and funny cards. Women who have experienced mother loss, regardless of age, may have feel the same. Below is a piece I've written about my experience with mother loss and Mother's Day.
Another View******Years ago, avoidance of the greeting card aisle near Mother’s Day rivaled my loveless affair with liver and onions. Even as I rushed past the cards, the words, “To My Dear Mother,” screamed at me. As people did their best to pick the most perfect Mother’s Day card, envy, not blood, flowed through my veins. Did they know how blessed they were?
My mother died from yellow liver atrophy almost three months to the day after surgery. She was forty-three. I was thirteen. She was too young to die and I was too young to be left without a mom. Now it was just my dad and me. Even at thirteen, I wondered how we would survive. I hated that my mom never hesitated to spank, yet I would let her spank me a thousand times over if God would bring her back.
My peaceful world was gone. No more ‘girls only’ nights when my dad worked late. We’d drive as far as time and ice cream took us. Laughs and song filled the air. No more would I watch her put on eyeshadow and wonder if I would ever be as pretty.
Mother’s Day soon became just another Sunday without football.
For twenty years, I permitted my mom’s death to be the root of my stumbles. Life moved on, but I lagged behind. I somehow had to learn from her life so I could finally live my own.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of not being able to change the past. I had to embrace my mom’s death and move on. God’s word opened that door with Psalms 121 (NIV): I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? I knew where to start.
Now, I no longer avoid the Mother’s Day card aisle. Like everyone else, I hunt for the perfect one. How can I not celebrate the woman who introduced me to A & W onion rings while she explained changes a young girl experiences are a celebration? I sign my card with love and tuck it away with the others.
Our life together lasted just thirteen years, yet was more valuable than rubies. My mother’s spirit dances within me every second, every minute, every day. I am truly blessed, for I know one day we’ll see each other again. Our laughter and songs will fill the air. Praise God.
©2011


4 comments:

Old Kitty said...

This is such a touching and poignant post about your mum. These 13 years with her are precious and treasured. She will always be remembered. Happy Mother's Day! Take care
x

Thomasina said...

Kitty: thank YOU! I appreciate you being one of my biggest supporters--just more than you know!!

Pet Charlie for me :)

Tommy

Eric and Flynn said...

This is a beautiful post in honour of your mother.
My mother died when I was 30 and she was 50, also far too young. My father died when she was only 26 and she had to bring up my brother and I and did a very good job of it. I miss her, especially now.
I am sorry you lost your mother when you were so young.
Jackie

meowmeowmans said...

What a lovely and poignant post, Tommy. I'm greatly moved by your recounting of your journey -- from the loss of your mother at such a young age to being able to celebrate her life and her legacy.

Happy Mother's Day, my friend.

Kevin (you and Noir know me better as "meowmeowmans" from the Animal Shelter Volunteer Life blog)